Pivotal Moments Where Your Trajectory Changed – The Lessons Learned

We believe life is precious. This is it. We've

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right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional

life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher

level. So you're playing at your full potential, rather than at a

fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that

once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you

learn it, watch what happens. Welcome to think it via the

podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.

Hey. And I'm John Michell. So Kelly, let's, let's

do something interesting today. Yeah, for something interesting.

Always I know, you all know you are. So think about your life,

and think about the pivotal moments in your life. And that

really changed your, your trajectory and think of in terms

of what led to that moment. What was the change, and now from a

perspective standpoint, the impact of that, that change, and

I'm thinking you do one, I'll do one, and we'll go back and

forth. But I think the value to our audience really is, is

really understanding how you evolve in your life. And

sometimes that that evolution is a function of, of being

disgusted with your existing life. And, and what it takes to,

you know, get to that moment where things actually change. So

with that as a preview, let's launch into it.

Okay, sounds good. And what you just said

reminds me of like, the people are either either moving away

from pain, or towards pleasure. You know, and so this the, did

you want to go first with your story? Or do you want me

to I'd rather interview you? Okay.

Okay, perfect. And I think for me, the story

that I will share is about moving away from pain, you know,

and at the same time, the outcome is a pleasurable one,

although it was a painful, a painful journey. So, for me, I

think one of the pivotal moments that stands out, you know, in my

adult life, would be my decision to leave a job that I had worked

out for nearly 14 years, and start my own business. And

really, where I was at in my headspace, was I'd always wanted

to be an entrepreneur. I mean, you know that I was in a DECA

competition in high school. And, you know, when entrepreneurship

and like, I knew I always wanted to be an entrepreneur, but I

fell into this great job after school, and just fell in love

with it. Well, like many things, we talk about this all the time

with being on autopilot. I blinked my eyes and 10 years had

gone by, and I wasn't an entrepreneur, you know, and I

still talked about, oh, I really want to do this. I you know, and

I've shared that story. And some people may have heard this

already, but about a mentor of mine, who said, You keep talking

about this, you know, like, well, what if you were however,

you and I were having the same conversation that we've had 20

times already, three years from now, how would you feel about

that? And I said, disappointed. And he said, Well, you better

get to get and, you know, if you're going to make a change in

your life, you know, and so it was that cold glass of water I

needed first of all, that I was saying stuff that I wasn't

following up on. And I'd had this dream and everything. And

then a couple of pivotal things happened in the actual role

itself with the ownership. That was I knew, I was like, I got I

had great ideas. I really was excited about growing somebody

else's company, at that time, still getting pushed back, you

know, and then they made a couple of really poor decisions.

And, and so I'm like, I if I'm gonna do this, I've just got to

do it. And I've got to jump, you know, so I started the whole

research prop process, you know, to make that move and do it, but

it was painful. I gave a month notice. These people were like,

family, they, you know, I'd been with him for 14 years. I was 22

when I started there was a baby, you know, and you know, and I

I've learned some valuable lessons through that process. So

first of all, just the pain of of making a change and losing

all stability, you know, from a six figure job at the time,

which for me was was, I slowly, you know, climbed, climbed the

ranks and was six figures to no money I'd been saving. But, you

know, it was so that was super scary. And then I got a cold,

hard dose of reality in understanding that businesses

business, you know, and what I thought were like loyalty, the

reason why I stayed was this deep sense of loyalty, I felt to

these people, only to find that that really wasn't returned. You

know what I mean, it wasn't straight. Exactly. I got some

life lessons as far as that was concerned. You know, and I

think, the best decision of my life, you know, but there's

something that's interesting that happens when you make a

major change like that, even though like, I made the move

away from pain, because I could do the job in my sleep, I wasn't

challenged, I was so disappointed in myself that I

wasn't living up to the expectations I had for myself

for making the impact I wanted to make. So that was a painful

place for me. But then something really interesting happened that

I wasn't expecting, which was when I made that move from being

a W two employee, to being a business owner. And sitting in

my own office, like literally after doing the exit interview,

I now I'm sitting in office space that I leased that

afternoon, me and my business partner, and looking at each

other you know, but you we wrapped so much of our identity

up in our profession, in our in our career, and I was the

expert, like, I knew how to do everything. And then all of a

sudden, I don't know what to do. So this journey for the next

three years of business, starting one in the depths of a

recession was a painful, was a painful journey. But what was on

the other side of it by just having that grit and

determination, resilience to keep picking yourself up,

dusting yourself off and moving forward. You know, was, I mean

the best, it was the best decision I ever made.

Right? So So back. When you when you did

this, had you been telling yourself that, that I'm going to

be an entrepreneur?

Yes. Like for years. Yeah, I've been like, I

want to own my own business, I want to I love this work. I want

to do this for myself or something, but I want to work

for myself, right? And be an entrepreneur,

so So did you feel like you weren't doing what

you were, say, saying you were gonna do

100% I felt like I was letting myself down. But I

wasn't keeping my word. I kept saying I was gonna do this. And

that's why again, that whole glass of water from that mentor,

which was like, we keep talking about this, and you're not doing

anything, you know, and that called out to me, too, and said

out loud and reflected back to me felt awful. Yeah, you know,

not congruent with who I am as a person, you know what I mean? So

I was totally out of congruence, and, and aligned and out of

alignment.

You know, that's a, that's an interesting thing,

in that an outsider had to smack you upside the head, basically,

you know, and I think that's, that's how change happens is

either reality slaps you upside your head, or a person does. And

that's, that's powerful, because you're so into your own head,

that, that you can't see the forest for the trees sometimes,

when they

when we talk about the subconscious all of

the time, and our autopilot. And our and that's why I said

literally, if 10 years went by, like a blink of an eye, you get

into that onto that treadmill. And, you know, all of a sudden,

it's like, oh, another weeks gone by six months have gone by,

and here I am. And you know, at that time, I'm 32 I think, and

I'm like, All right, the clock is ticking, you know, so so that

that was a major pivotal point for me. How about you?

You know, I, I'll tell I'll tell basically this

story when I became an entrepreneur, too. I you know,

as is, as I may have mentioned, I started out as a CPA and, and

by the time I was like, 27 or 28 Well, I didn't want to be an

accountant all my life and but it was a good, good background.

And so I remember getting hooked up with these, these three guys

that were sold tax shelters to CPAs. And they were they were

players. You know, they were they were true salesmen but they

and they were in their 40s and 50s. And, and ultimately, I go

to them and tell them hey, you know, I don't want to be a CPA

anymore. Uh, in an hour, I, I knew that I had to be an

entrepreneur to really have control of my life, didn't know

what that exactly look like, but I knew Stan as a CPA was going

to be the path. So I evolved to telling him, you know, let's let

me come work for you, because you're looking at all sorts of

tax deals, and you need somebody that can tell you whether they

will fly from the tax code standpoint, and whether they

will fly economically, again, by these guys are, there are our

salesmen and polish salesmen. And so they said, Sure, come

come work for us. You can office with us, we'll pay you what

you're making as a CPA, which is like, you know, literally 30,000

a year at the time, which shows you how long ago this was. And,

and so I, I do that, and don't know where it's going and, and,

you know, I can sort of do my own thing on the side, whatever

that might be. And to make a long story short, I find a deal

on my own, not through their sources. And I show it to them,

they say, Boy, this would be great. We could sell the heck

out of this, it was a real estate development deal around a

tax shelter, building, basically apartments. And they go, Well,

you know, boy, we could sell this, but we're not developers.

And so I'm like, Well, how tough could it be, you know, you find

the land, find the Arctic, find the builder, and make a long

story short, I put it together. And then right before it was

about to, to launch, I get fired. And, and because I didn't

bring any financial strength to the equation. Of course, all

this was done on a handshake. Because I didn't have the, the,

you know, sometimes deals are just done on a handshake,

because that's how it is like, you try to have to trust people.

And into that inning, it ended up that they they screwed me.

And after I pounded around for literally three days, on the

third day, I get out and like, go screw them, I'll do it again.

And truly, by the grace of God, I was able to do it again and

create my own deal. And that launched me for the rest of my

life as an entrepreneur. And, you know, I look at what's so

what's the takeaway from that? First of all, like, like, you,

you know, you think everybody has the same sort of ethics and,

and, and sense of right and wrong, that that you do, and,

and they don't. And that's just the cold, hard world. And I look

back now, and I'm like, boy, best thing that ever happened to

me, you know, best saying that they screwed me because, you

know, I, I picked myself up and dusted myself off. And even in

my visualization today, I think about it every day. Because I

exhibited three characteristics at that point, because of that

happening. I was courageous to, to embrace being an

entrepreneur. I was ambitious, wanting, wanting more. And I was

resilient, to pick myself back up and that experience of, of

getting essentially fired. And, and all that best thing that

ever could have happened to me my life. You know, from that

point on, I was always an entrepreneur, never never went

back being an employee. And I'm so thankful for that, even

though at the time it was pretty much of a nightmare.

No, and I love to, you know, like you Okay, so

there were some things that you learned, by going through that

experience, just as I did, either, whether it's about

people, whether or not everything is fair, whether

it's, you know, that you as a result of going through that.

There's a tremendous, there's lessons around every corner and

what you went through, you know, about yourself, about other

people about how maybe you will treat other people and go into

deals because I know, one of your, you know, pieces in your

visualization is that you will always be fair, and do the right

thing. You know, and I think you've become a better business

person and, you know, human as a result of having interactions

with people like that, or going through some of those things

were like, Okay, I just was, I just saw an example of how I'm

not going to show up, you know, in the world, you know, that's

exact opposite of how I'm going to do business or whatever the

case may Be?

Yeah, you know, I tell you, this may be a man

thing. But every once awhile I threw all out the years, I'm

like, you know, I drive down to Dallas and just kick their ass,

kick their friggin ass. But I'm like, you know, wait a minute,

they did me the greatest favor ever. Right? But they still

disrespected me. So they carve out the time to go kick their

butt. So, so tell another on you.

I think the next one that just comes to mind, you

know, that guy, there's so many things along the way. But I when

I think of pivotal, something that was really life changing,

and I'll stay along this idea of, of entrepreneurship, but it

was with you and I need him. Yeah, it was with doing having

you as a guest on the podcast, and learning and understanding

more about the subconscious how it works. I mean, I've talked

about this so many times, where it was just such a relief, I was

like, oh, you know, now I get why, you know, I keep kind of

hitting my head up against a wall or a ceiling, you know,

with and not being able to move beyond it. And so, you know,

backing up where I was at, in that point in my life was that I

built a successful business, you know, eight figures from a

revenue standpoint. But we just kept my business partner and I

kept having the same problems, same issues with with leadership

with team size, with just not being able to reach that next

level within the business. And so I was frustrated, you know, I

knew that what got us to where we were working wasn't going to

be the same things that got us to the next level. And then I

was going to need new tools, I was going to need new knowledge.

And it was going to it was going to take something different,

obviously than then what we had been doing. And, and then, you

know, so I started that journey of okay, well, I'll do the

podcast for a few different reasons, you know, it had a

business, you know, to bring in leads, but it also was selfish

in the respect that I got to interview brilliant people,

John, who, you know, where I could learn, you know, and learn

from people who blazed the path before me, or who'd been through

or who are, are where I want to be and pick their brains. And so

that's when you and I met, and I learned that technique. And life

just got easier. I know what I mean, and better and less

stressful and more focused. And, you know, I just started making

real leaps in games, personally and professionally. You know, so

and it did more than I ever thought it would, you know, I

was initially like, Okay, I'm going to break through to the

next level in my business. And I was really focused on netting a

million and, you know, but what happened on the path to getting

there, and who I have become and becoming still evolving, as a

result of that is, I mean, was just super pivotal for me. And

so for me, that wasn't, there was pain associated there. But

we were in good shape, I was making a really great living.

And for me, that was moving toward pleasure. But also I was

at another pivotal point in my life where I felt like I was

disappoint. I was letting myself down. Because I knew I had more

gas in the tank. I knew I could make a bigger impact. And I

wasn't doing it. I was I got comfortable again. And so it was

that next tool that I needed in my arsenal to get to that next

phase. Does that make sense?

Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I suspect that part of

it was because you had an immense sense of control over

your life in a way that you hadn't had before. Right.

Yeah. I mean, that was definitely one of the

pieces for sure. And that immense sense of control. I

think one of the things that I didn't expect, because I was

frazzled. You know, I again, working harder, and then but,

but the profit was the same, you know, revenue was going up,

profit was staying the same and like, What the hell is going on

here? I'm exhausted, I'm sacrificing all the that these

other areas of my life, you know, and so

I, so, the

gaining control and then also, as a result of

that, reducing stress, which you don't realize the degree to how

much energy being stressed takes up. I mean, no

stress is pure control. Exactly. The feeling of

lack of control.

Exactly. So so yeah. 100% would agree that the

you know, gaining control over my life to a level beyond what I

ever experienced before, like, I didn't even know that that level

of control existed. You know, I'm and I'm in control, you

know, I like to control things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I noticed I'm like, Oh wow, this

is like I'm superpower.

Right, right. I know. Well, you know that that

is on my head that reminds me of, you know, when I was 50 and,

and being dissatisfied with 20 years of making low six figures

a year and, and then, you know, deciding, I look back and I see

how the pure power this to find the top book in the world on

success and apply that book literally word for word my life,

which is thinking Grow Rich read by 100 million people. And you

know, I didn't anticipate that when I was gonna do this, that

it would say there's a secret to success, but he's only gonna

give you half that secret. And, and you know, so I, you know

mope around for a little while and, and just then man up and,

and immerse myself in the book, read it 20 times, probably over

two months. And, and, and create this 12 minute day technique.

And, you know, now I look at it. And I'm like, This is so friggin

simple. And I always, you know, throughout my life always saw

it, there has got to be a success formula, that if you

just do this, it'll work. And you'll be successful. And I knew

it had to be simple. I just intuitively knew it had to be

simple. And I also saw that, where would be the most likely

place to find it? Well, maybe a book that is the top of the

world on success by a factor of 10. You know, the, the law of

large numbers tells you there's something there. And, and so

once I figured it out, and then I'm like, I step back now, and I

go, of course, it's simple. So you create this immense clarity

about your life, you know exactly the person, you want to

be exactly what you want to accomplish, and precisely going

to how you're going to achieve your clearly defined goals. So

you take that clarity, you feed it to yourself every day, of

course, it impacts your daily actions. And then those enhanced

improved daily actions creates the life you want. Like, wow,

this thing doesn't get any simpler. And, and and I'm, I'm

always amazed at people. What are you not getting here? You

know, but but that's people. Yeah. And, and so I'm good. If

you don't, if you don't get it, that's fine. But if you do get

it great.

Yeah, there's just there's a better way. For sure.

Right. Brian, my gosh,

and I, you know, I'm so blown away about how it

impacts my marriage and my, my health as well as my career and,

and, you know, like, like you, you know, I started you know,

making, you know, multiple millions. And, and that was

great. And but I saw the, the just being able to play the game

of life at a higher level. And at my full potential. Boy, that

was the joy and is the joy for me. And but I see again, you

know, the, the wisdom for both of you may had to come from

somebody else, you know, I had to give it to you, and thinking

Grow Rich had to give it to me. You know, and I think that's the

lesson for our our audience today is, is figure out whatever

the challenge is in your life that you want to go to the next

level at, and then go find somebody else to help you do it.

Because you can't do it. If you could do it. You'd already have

done. Absolutely. So So you know, it's got to come from an

outsider's perspective. And so I think that's the lesson for the

day, right?

I love it. No, I

think absolutely seek out, you know, those

mentors seek out that knowledge, you know, somebody who's been

where you want to go, you know, you talk to the most successful

people in any field or in any lot in life. And that's exactly

what they've done. They didn't do it alone. They talked to

people who blazed the path before them and there's no need

to reinvent the wheel. There's people who've done it, you know,

you can make it better by but that's the lesson here is seek

that knowledge out and, and there is a better way, a better

way.

Right. So,

you know, maybe maybe we'll we'll do another

episode on this. I you know, one of the things I would talk about

is, is deciding to get a I'm married to the ginge that was,

you know a big, a big thing. Maybe also how I found the

reverse mortgage business, which was really guy just looking down

on me and going, I'm going to help this poor slob. He's having

trouble. I don't know you think about a couple more on your end.

We'll do it. Maybe next. Next episode. Sounds good. We'll do

look okay. Okay, until next time, we'll see you.

Thanks for listening today. If you've had

your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an

email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So

email us at Kelly@thinkitbeit.com or

John@thinkitbeit.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life