Human Nature – We Are Not Wired For Success

We believe life is precious. This is it. We've

got one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to

maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our

full potential.

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right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional

life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher

level. So you're playing at your full potential rather than at a

fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that

once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you

learn it, watch what happens. Welcome to think a bit the

podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.

Hey. And I'm John Michell. So Kelly, let's talk

about the lessons that you and I have learned about human nature.

How's that sound? Oh, yeah, no, I know, I call off kids.

Let's do this.

You know, you know, I think you and I were

talking about this. I don't know, couple weeks ago, that

when I had my reverse mortgage, business, and I had 175 people

working for me, I learned a lot about human nature. But it pales

in comparison to what I've learned since we got into the

success and human achievement field. Do you feel the same way?

I feel

like that up definitely up the ante, you

know, with my businesses and being related to staffing, you

people and working with companies, I had a front row

seat to, you know, the different, you know, kind of

human experience. But then moving into the human

development space absolutely helped me connect some dots that

I hadn't connected before. So I'm excited to talk about this

topic,

right? Well, I'll run down sort of the the main

things we've learned about human nature, and then we'll sort of

dive into some specific specifics that we, we can look

at. So the first one is I see that people are self focused.

People are also lazy. I see that they're often discipline

undisciplined. They're, they're by their nature unfocused. They

have a lack of self awareness. Also see, which totally

surprised me that for the vast majority of people more success

is merely a preference, merely a preference. I see that by our

nature, we're fear based and reactive. Now, let me let me say

one other thing that is good, because all those things are

bad. It's self nine, it's human nature to want to help other

people, which is great. But those are the things that, that

I have seen that I sort of knew when I had 175 people working

for me, but now I fully understand. Well, fully, never

fully, but I see it much deeper. Now. Do you? Do you think most

people are lazy?

I don't know. See that broad, you know, kind

of that broad brushstroke. I think that what I know now

through the work that I've done with think it, be it and knowing

how the brain works. And understanding how that

subconscious mind is built through your stories and your

upbringing and the things you were told and all of that, like

I understand, you know, how people get to the point where

they get into a place of inaction where it's just easier

to you know, in their minds anyway, but they're so unhappy,

you know, because inaction is a breeding ground for unhappiness.

Right. So um, you know, but yeah, I would say there is a

definitely as a component of that and for the reason that we

talk about what's your brains job is to protect you. So it has

a choice between sitting on the couch and watch watching Netflix

for four hours, and pushing yourself outside your comfort

zone to do the extra, you know, 20 calls that you need. Do you

know to close the deal? You need to close? It's gonna use Netflix

every frickin time on its own.

Right, right now. That's right. That's right. And

do you think that most people are unfocused?

Yeah, I think especially now, in today's age,

I don't think that's gotten any better. I think it's just gotten

exponentially worse over the course since the last 20 years,

the last 10. Specifically, I think it's really accelerated

that lack of focus.

Right. And, and I bet you'd agree that most people

are, are self focused.

That's just everybody's nature. It's all

about, you know, for the most part, it's all about me, it's my

world, you just get to live in it.

Right. Well, you know, that's, that's pure social

media. I mean, it's all. Well, you know, here's what's

interesting, I think, is when you look at all those things

that I said, it all comes back to being wired for survival.

I'll go down the list and we'll show you what I mean. Yeah.

First of all, by by our nature, we're fear based and reactive.

Boy, that's, that's pure being wired for survival. People are

self focused. For sure. Sure. If if, if you're wired for

survival, you're totally self focused. People are lazy. Okay.

Yeah, that's, that's right. Now they're, they're not lazy. If

there's a imminent danger ahead of their way, you know, they

won't be lazy then but absent that, they're gonna be lazy. You

know, the idea that that for 98% of the people born success is

merely a preference. Sure, sure. What is what is more success

have to do with survival? Nothing. No. They're

undisciplined. Yeah, yeah, they don't they remember they have to

be reactive, that's, that's being wired for survival. They

don't have to be disciplined. That also causes them to be

unfocused. You know, again, they're, they're reactive, not

focused. And, and they also lack a lack self awareness. Well, how

does self awareness help you in being wired for survival? It

does. So, you know, that's, that's sort of what I see that

everything in human nature, that is bad, is related, being wired

for survival. And, you know, another another thing I found is

that most people don't do what they say they're going to do.

They intend to do it, but but they don't do it. And, and

again, as that relates to survival, it, you know, that

relates to success that doesn't relate to survival, therefore,

it's not a priority for people. And, you know, I'll give you an

example, I'd love your take on this, about people being maybe

focused on themselves and, and lacking self awareness. So I

think I told you that I've been in a band for a number of years.

And so our drummer and our bass player, moved out of town a few

months ago. So now I'm putting together another band. And I saw

an old friend of mine that I've known for 15 years. And he's

more or less about my age, and very smart guy. He's an idea

guy. He's in the advertising field. So and he plays bass, so

I hang out with him a couple of times this past week. And I'm

like, Oh, now I see why we never developed a great friendship.

You know, he's never asked about me, what am I doing? You know,

nothing. And I see that, that that happens is you and I've

talked about this 100 times, that it's rare that you meet

somebody where they're asking you about you. And I thought

well, that's, that's, I guess, ingrained narcissism, which is

probably part of the human condition. And, and it's also a

lack of self awareness that, you know, we're only talking about

me not, not any about you. And I just found that that

interesting, because, you know, he's a really interesting guy

and, and, you know, looking almost third party at it, I'm

like, Why didn't I ever become better friends with him? And now

I see. Why. What's your take on that? Well, I

could see definitely just from an

alignment standpoint, you are somebody who asks everybody how

they are you make the conversation about them. You see

get back to them. You know, so like you're so one of the the

things right away as you're not congruent, you're out of

congruence completely with a value system of how you interact

with people. And I mean, so those things, you know, to play

a big role in who you choose to spend your time with, we talk

about this all the time, I know I'm going off a little bit off

topic here, but it's that same, you know, you have to be really

careful about who you surround yourself with, and that you're

surrounding yourself with people who, you know, have a have a,

you know, not necessarily a similar value system, but, um,

you know, believe in some of the same things that you believe in,

you know, and you're able to communicate and all of those

things, so, I completely get why that would not be aligned with

you, you know, that doesn't surprise me at all.

Well, and and you're the same way. And, and I

think, this, this lack of self awareness is a is a problem. And

I will say this, I know for a fact that I'm way more self

aware today than I was 10 or 15 years ago, and I think that may

be the effect of getting a little older, do you think

that's true?

Totally, I think to, um, you know, I've always

been pretty self aware, you know, I'm a learner, and I've

always had really a growth mindset, you know, I'm lucky

that I grew up that way. But even but as I get older, even to

just through all of the lessons, you know, which I have chosen to

write, you know, reflect on and be like, Okay, how can I, you

know, how can I become a better version of myself by what I've

gone through, and, you know, so and that's about self awareness,

that's making the assumption, that there's a next version of

you, which I love that idea, you know, what I mean? That, like,

this is the version of me now, and I'm evolving, I continue to

evolve. And to me self awareness, right now allows you

to do that it's, I see, so many people just stuck, where they

were, you know, I ran into somebody, you know, from high

school, you know, a few months ago, and it was like, that was

their best years, they,

they peaked, oh, man. Good,

there were stuck in, you know, what I mean, in

this time, you know, capsule, or whatever, you know, where they

hadn't evolved beyond, you know, that time in their life, and

it's because, but you know, part of it is not being self aware.

And was is not being, you know, all of these things that we talk

about, which by the way, the things that we learned about

human nature, we're talking about other people, but each one

of us has had this, you know, one of these things at a minimum

happening at one point in our life, they keep they appear,

they start rearing their ugly head now, and again, you know, I

mean, so when we're talking about human nature, and we're

talking about people, we're also talking about us, because this

is the way the brain is designed, and why you have to

override that innate operating system that we have to program

yourself so that you can become focused, and you can become

proactive and disciplined and focused. And so I want to point

that out in this discussion that, you know, this isn't about

them. And us any shape or form, this is human nature, it's

everybody, to some extent,

yeah, absolutely. You know, that's a, that's a

great point. And I think, you know, I, I divide my life

between, you know, when I was zero to 50, and then I started

doing think, be it and how my life was, and has been since

then, and what a difference, you know, all all our 12 minute a

day technique is about is really about overcoming human nature,

by affirming to ourselves, that we are disciplined and what that

means and we're focused on what moves the needle, and that we're

self aware, and that we're not lazy, you know, we're, we're

achievement oriented. Success is a priority for us, you know, all

those things, that we're feeding ourselves 12 mins today, all

that's doing is just overriding, being innately wired for

survival and, and overcoming human nature. You know, human

nature, generally, is a bad thing, all the things that we

talked about. They're they're bad things and to have a

successful life. You have to override them overcome them. And

that's what our technique does, I think.

Yeah, no, absolutely. And I think too, you

know, we've talked a lot about the things that um, you know,

the so many of these things are negative You know, and that this

technique helps you flip the script on each of these things.

But also to the point that you made John earlier. There's,

there also is innate goodness, and the innate, wanting to help

people, you know, wanting to be of service, I think, you know,

those are, you know, like, I don't want to diminish that

there's so many things about, you know, human nature to but I

think you're right, you know, we're designed to protect

ourselves, we're designed to, you know, for all of these

things for survival, and so, therefore, we're not designed

our brain is not designed for success necessarily. Right.

Right. I mean, because it keeps us Its job is to keep us safe.

And to keep us efficient. And to and so getting out of your,

like, all of these things being focused, disciplined success

being a priority, these things are uncomfortable, like, they

push you out of your comfort zone and into action mode and

everything. And that's exhausting, like the brains job

is efficiency and safety, right hiring to, to do things that are

out of your comfort zone until your comfort zone, the bar keeps

moving a little bit further, you know, every time and so, anyway,

I just wanted to point that out, too, that, you know, we're

talking about a lot of, you know, problems associated with

human nature. But there is a good thing or two about it?

Well, you know, I've I've only discovered one

good thing about human nature, really, that it that we have an

innate desire to help people. And that's a great thing. It's a

wonderful thing. But you know, the big picture, I guess I want

to convey to our audience is that most of human nature is, is

a problem and, and gears you not for success, and you got to fix

that you got to because if you just sort of, don't do anything,

and just live your life and hope for the best human nature's can

overcome you, and the results aren't gonna be very good.

No, and I think too, if you're driven, you know,

so let's talk about just really quick, I want to just tie this

to for people. So before I started using this method, this

methodology, you know, I'd had a, I'd have success, but it was

hard. Like getting from like, it was so much harder than it

needed to be, it happens so much slower than it needed to happen.

Because I was fighting my human nature the entire time. It

wasn't until I understood really how the brain worked, that 95%

of what we do is on autopilot, you know, which, you know,

that's the subconscious that, you know, we're all these

stories, you tell us yourself, your hat, your habits, your

patterns, your all of that stuff. And that we're wired for

survival and understanding, like literally how your brain works.

Read me. And I was like, I don't know. So I don't have to beat

myself up anymore. Because I keep saying I'm gonna do this.

And yet, then I don't. Yeah. So there's a thing I couldn't do

you mean, to stop it from doing that?

It takes 12 minutes a day.

Then it became so much like just exponentially

easier, once I understood this fundamental thing, and then how

to harness the power of what your brain is a magnificent

thing. You know, understanding how it works, and how to harness

the power of it is life changing. And it over? It helps

you overcome all of these things that you're you beat yourself up

over. But now you understand like, this is happening, because

it's designed your your brain is designed to do that for you, and

you're just fighting against it.

Right? You know, I'd say, you know, the thing

I've observed, you know, as I went out to California and

visited with my stepson will and, and as we were talking you

his had a lot of time to talk and I'm helping him develop an

intelligent plan for his career. And as I observe us talking, I

realized that we all process information a little different.

And the way that he process information is that he's

challenging everything, you know, everything is he's like,

is that really true? You know, and I'm like, Well, this is

exhausting, that everything is subject to being debated. I know

the way i i think the way I process is I decide, is that a

good idea or not? Yes or no? And probably 75% of what comes into

mind Consciousness, I can say that's a good idea, or that's

not a good idea. And there's 25% that I'm not sure, and I've got

to, but it's an efficient way to, to get rid of the bad ideas

to go in the direction of the good ideas. Bad I saw as I was

talking to him, helping him to figure out a career plan. When

when you're challenging every idea, you spend so much time,

chance that what appears to be a good idea might not be a good

idea. I'm like, God, this, this will slow you up. If this is how

you process information. You What do you think about that?

100%? You know, I think one thing I've learned,

you know, through my kind of journey, is that now the way I

look at things is like a scientist to where I'll be like,

Ah, okay, so in theory, this sounds like it's a good idea

like this will reduce, let's just talk about something we're

doing in our business right now is reducing the fill time, the

time from when a job order comes in to the time it's filled. And

I'm like, my theory is that if we speed up this particular flow

that we have, you know, that it will help us job close jobs

faster, or whatever. So I have a hypothesis. You know, and here's

what I think. And here's what we're going to do to test that.

And this time, we're going to do this as the outcome we're we're

looking for, this is the I don't know, whether that's what if

that's going to help the close jobs quicker? My logic feels

like it's right. So to me, I go, I look at it almost like a

scientist run like this is my theory or hypothesis, right?

Now, I'm going to test it, you know what I mean? But through

that process, you're like, is this a viable? So I don't give

it reasons to not? I'm like, I don't know. So I'm gonna go into

that test mode to determine whether it is a viable solution

to the problem, ya know, so that's kind of my, where I don't

have to know whether the if logically, it feels like this

could be a, then I go through my process. Here's stating the

issue, here's a potential solution to the issue. And then

working through that. And, you know, so I think, how you

process information or how you look at, I'm looking at this as

an opportunity, looking at it as a as a well, going into that

where you were just talking about with well, where it's like

the one in a million chance it's not going to work. Yeah, like

I'm thinking about the one in a million chance it does.

Right. Yeah. Right. Well, again, how you

process information is is is critical. And so to wrap to wrap

up, you know, again, human nature is something you have to

overcome. And it's, it's through our methodology that our

followers are, are playing 12 minutes a day that allows you to

overcome human nature. So that's the lesson for today. Yes. Okay.

Until next time, we'll see you.

Thanks for listening today. If you've had

your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an

email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So

email us at Kelly@thinkitbeit.com or

John@thinkitbeit.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life