You’ve Got To Figure Out Your Life

Kelly Hatfield: 00:00:04

We believe life is precious. This is it. We've got one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our full potential.

John Mitchell: 00:00:17

Are you living up to your potential? Are you frustrated that despite your best intentions, you just can't seem to make the changes needed to take things to the next level. So you can impact your career relationships and health.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:00:31

If this is hitting home, you're in the right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher level. So you're playing at your full potential, rather than at a fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you learn it, watch what happens.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:01:00

Welcome to Think It Be It the podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.

John Mitchell: 00:01:04

Hey. And I'm John Michell. So Kelly, here's the topic this week, you have to figure out your life. It's not on anyone else to figure out your life. You have to figure out your life. Would you agree with that?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:01:21

Oh. Yeah, 100%, nobody's, nobody's gonna do it for you, nobody's gonna come and save you. This is on you to figure it out. I'm excited to dig into this. This is a good one today.

John Mitchell: 00:01:29

Okay, well, and let me explain this a little more. So it's on you to figure out your life. And it's on you to figure out, you know, what it's going to take to for you to go the next level of success that you desire. And, you know, figuring out the specific actions required to go to that next level. And that's critical, because as we've said, many times, your daily actions determine your success in each area of your life. And hey, nobody's going to figure those right actions in the path for you. It's fully on you. And so I see that people just have to accept that. And that was essentially the the tough love conversation I had with myself when I turned 50. And, you know, Kelly, I had to stop waiting for circumstances to change in order for my life to get better. Can you relate to that?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:02:29

Oh, 100% Yep, I can 100% relate to that.

John Mitchell: 00:02:32

And, and I had to figure out the correct specific actions that I needed to take and and then by God, take those damn actions in order to go to that next level of success. And so at 50, I finally finally got it that is fully and totally on me. And so, you know, that was really the, the pivotal moment for me. And I bet you've had a moment where you realize you had to pull your life together, and it's on you to, to make your life what you wanted it right.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:03:11

Oh, yeah, nope, I've got that story, when I transitioned from being a W two employee to a business owner. Right, that was the major point for me, you know, going leading up to when I did that, and, you know, just that whole process that I went through, when I made that transition, made the decision to take control in my life, and to move into business ownership. That was one of those moments for me one of those time periods for me.

John Mitchell: 00:03:40

Right, right. You know, I know that, that when I really got this and I see, saw that it was on me, then the problem was, well, how do I figure out the specific actions? Okay, I got it, that it's on me to figure out my life. But how do I figure out the specific actions and I saw that, at first, that seemed at 50. very daunting. And then when I read, Think and Grow Rich, I saw the solution, you know, when I figured out the full secret, and I saw that it came down to creating immense clarity about my life, you know exactly the person I want to be what I wanted to accomplish, and precisely how I was going to achieve my clearly defined goals once once I created that clarity, then figuring out the actions was pretty easy, because she just worked backwards, work backwards, and you know, then it became so obvious that yeah, it's sort of the Stephen Covey Seven Habits thing of start with the end in mind, if you see where you're going, then you're going to be able to work backwards to see what those action steps were. And so, you know, that was so so enlightening to me, even though it felt so daunting and dri accepted responsibility. Did you sort of feel the same way?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:05:05

Yeah, I think it was really, initially overwhelming, you know, the, again, where it's like, Okay, so I've made the decision. Now I'm going to take control of my life, and I'm going to work for myself, you know, so the decision was made, and then it was like, okay, you know, now what, how do I create that for myself? And I think then it was really an eye for, you know, they could be coming into my life happened 10 years into my business when I was another ceiling, you know, in my business, but at that, you know, so I didn't learn, I didn't know, through intuition, through logic through, you know, I figured out my path and my way, you know, through being an entrepreneur, and you know, a lot of my growth mindset served me, but it wasn't until I really learned the methodology that I figured out, I'd made it a lot harder, really, than it needed to be those first 10 years of business ownership.

John Mitchell: 00:06:03

You know what I mean? Well, you're just winging life like,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:06:07

Yeah, exactly. So having some clarity, I'm always been good at having a vision, and setting goals, and then reverse engineering those, which is, you know, essentially what I did, but not to the degree, you know, that, had I read thinking Grow Rich. Well, no, I had read thinking Grow Rich, I'd read it a couple of times, it wasn't until I learned a simple way to apply it. Right. I had the success that I had, but, ya know, I can completely relate to you and what you're talking about, where,

John Mitchell: 00:06:37

You know, I'll tell you one thing that amazes me with with people today is, is they're so shallow thinking I mean, and I get it that this was just the effect of this flip through through culture that we live in. Yeah, with social media that, that we're just by our nature, shallow thinking. And the the effect is that we are just like I said, winging life and recreating the past. And, you know, what's, what's been enlightening to me, I know, I've mentioned this before, and I learn this from Joe Dispenza, the mind body guru. And, you know, he talks about how we are oriented to the recent past. And so you know, when you sort of when you factor in that we are innately wired for survival, too. So when you wake up each morning, you're thinking about the recent past, and you're naturally thinking about your problems, because you're innately fear based. So off you go, you start thinking about your, your problems. And it's not like you're just consumed with it, because it can 95% of your daily thoughts and actions are unconscious. So a lot of that is going on, at a subconscious level, it's happening a little at the conscious level, but mostly is happening at a subconscious level. And, and he talks about how, as, as you know, your eyes are opening and you're, you're getting your day going, you think about your problems, and that generates negative feelings. And those negative feelings create more negative thoughts, and you get in this continual negative loop, and you have absolutely nothing pulling you forward to your desired life. And you keep on recreating the past. And, and I think, largely, that's happening, because people are so shallow thinking, and, and, you know, if you if you're really serious about success, come on, you got to, you got to embrace the idea that you got to figure out your life. And maybe the best way to, like, get into our methodology is to set aside time to deep think two times a week, because that's, that's the starting point for figuring out your life. You know, Does that all make sense?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:09:04

Yeah, it makes total sense. And I think, you know, to your point, setting aside that time to think deeply starts to create that new habit. Because again, we are, our brains are being we are through scrolling through that quick, you know, 15 seconds or less. We are training our brains to think at that shallow and surfacey level. And so by taking that time to think deeply a couple of times a week, and let me tell you, and I know I've mentioned to this, you know this a couple of times, or several times to John, when I first started to do this, it was a challenge for me. Yeah, like I it was hard sit to sit down and just write like what was in my mind, and to get that down on paper because I wasn't somebody who had journaled, you know, and who and who had done a lot of like writing exercises or anything along those lines. So just writing freeform like freeflow what's coming out of my mind was really difficult for me. And I had to start with like prompts, because it was such a challenge for me to do. So, you know, I had to train my brain to think more deeply.

John Mitchell: 00:10:13

You know, I'm glad you mentioned that, because I, I've always remembered that as I've taught people, our methodology I, and if they struggled with with that, I would remember that that was the case with you. But I, you know, I taught a group of entrepreneurs. This is like two months ago, six of them, and we're doing, you know, weekly calls, and I'm teaching them how to deep think. And one of them says, he says, Hey, I'm too busy to sit out and think, and I'm like, shut up. It. Jeez, that is maybe the most stupid thing I've ever heard in my life. I didn't say all that to me. But I damn sure thought it. You said, and I probably was pretty blunt about what I said, you know, but I'm like, God, almighty cheese? How can how can those words come out of your mouth? And you do not seem like an idiot?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:11:15

Yeah, totally. Like, where you just didn't catch that. Because that too, is a 100% of closed, you know, mindset. And you do realize that by sitting down and thinking deeply, how much time you will actually get back? How much were you, you'll be how much more smart, you will begin to work. Like it opens up doors, I didn't even realize were going to open for me and how it was going to change. Right? You know, so for that to be a source of loss. That is so funny. I'm surprised you didn't lose it.

John Mitchell: 00:11:43

I was about to go through the computer screen at this guy. Give me a slap, slap I handle that. Let me just slap you into submission. So this will this will get through? Ah, that's nice. But, you know, I tell you, it also taught me something I learned that you and I painfully learned is God. I don't like coaching people. I like I like teaching them. Yeah, you know, but when you're coaching them, you know, that's a whole nother thing where you're pulling them along. I don't, I don't want to be pulling him I had 175 employees that I had to pull on. I don't want to dwell on people today. And you know, that's why, you know, that subtle difference of teaching versus coaching is, is so much better. Because now my attitude is, I'm going to teach this to you, and you can take it or not take it and I advise you to go ahead and take it because it'll change your life. But, you know, I know that you you're around a lot of 20 year olds and 30 years year olds, and I got that same thing going on in my life as I have a number of 30 year olds and I see that oftentimes, and a person 30s They get stuck in life, you know, they've they've now transition from being a kid in their 20s to now they're in their 30s. And they're into their career, and they look around they go God, you know, I'd love to have that house on the lake. And I'd love to have that sports car and, you know, but then they're like, Oh, I gotta up my game. And I don't know how to my game. And, you know, I'm stuck. And, you know, I'm gonna do this with someone and his wife on Wednesday. A kid that he grew up to houses down from me here on Lake Austin. And so I when I moved here, he was probably, I don't know, 10 or 12 years old, probably. And so I, I watched him grow up and now he's married. His he married a great girl. He works for somebody's in the real estate field. She's a go getter herself. She she worked for Deloitte as a consultant, and now she's with a startup and, and she handles HR. And so they're coming over to talk about success Wednesday night. And, you know, I tell you one thing I've learned, and I know you're you're better at this than I am. Is, is asking questions rather than me go. Well, let me tell you how success works. You know, I'm gonna go. So how do you create success in your life? And I dare say, they won't know. They'll be stumped on the first Yep. Right. Then I'm gonna go well, okay. Tell me about your morning routine. What's that look like? Well, I daresay they're not doing anything to impact their mindset and overcome being wired for survival and being fear based and reactive. Who me. Okay, so now now, you know, maybe the dots are starting to come together. And maybe I'll I'll point out well, you know, you don't really have a strategy for success. I mean, you're answering the question, but you think that's a great strategy for success. And I daresay they'll go well now. And then, then I go, you notice with that morning routine, you're not doing anything that backed your, your mindset. And so when your little eyes open each morning, your fear base and reactive for you like, that's good. I'll go now. And then then I think I'll go okay. Well, let me just tell you what the secret of thinking Grow Rich was, and maybe you should do that. And you know, I never want to be forceful about laying think it, be it on him and saying, You ought to do it. I am like, now I'm like, Listen, I'm going to tell it to you, but I just in past ever trying to force it on anybody. Because if they're not bright enough to, to hear it, and get it and beg me to teach it to them that I don't want to, you know, force him to do it. And so I think that's what's gonna play out. But I bet you see the same thing with 30 year olds and 20 year olds, right.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:16:19

Yeah, I stuck. Yeah, they're stuck. You know, and I think there are so many things that I'm that are hard for me to completely grasp, because they weren't a part of my 30s, you know, which is just some of the things that they've got with social media and how they're judging themselves against other people. And oh, man, I should do this, or I should be, like, there's all these other things that get in their way, this clutter, that make it more difficult to have clarity around what they want to do, and they feel more stuck. And, and that just kind of keeps them, you know, they just kind of Route their feet in that place. You know, and, you know, so, it, absolutely, I see it a lot. You know, and I think it's a huge challenge. And in today's society, you know, with just the sum of the different things to it was an issue back when I was in my 30s, you just are going through figuring out, you know, your 20s are kind of about experimenting, and figuring out who you are, you really start to kind of your identity begins to take shape in your 30s 30s were a more not difficult decade for me, but you are trying to like, figure it out, you know, still even on another level, and then 40s. And of course, 50s have been great, you know, so getting stuck in it. It's that thing of man, I thought I would be further along, or man, I thought I would be this or I thought that's a lot of what's happening because the clock starts ticking. You feel the clock ticking. Right?

John Mitchell: 00:17:41

Well, I know you did a lot of experimenting in your 20s then, of course, we don't want to go into the old

Kelly Hatfield: 00:17:48

Wax it just watch yourself. They're talking to you and me.

John Mitchell: 00:17:53

You know, I tell you I think back though, it I was pretty damn clueless in my 20s 30s and 40s. But I oftentimes think today, I'm like, is somebody come to me and said, Listen, I figured out the full secret of the topic and world on success. And here it is. And it might be a good idea for you to apply it to your life. I would think even though I was pretty clueless, that I'd go, Wow. That's pretty good. i How do you get more credible than that? I'm like, I don't see anybody else coming up with ways to do life. This is the only what quote unquote way to do life. I've heard up in in it's the central concept of the top book the world on success. I'm like, I am all over it. I think that's what I would have done. But what amazes me today is when I say it to people, oftentimes, they're not even bright enough to see the see its brilliance when you're handing it till you know, but it's also funny. Like, I just had a guy that contacted me just this past weekend. Great guy. And he's like, I've listened to every episode of your podcast and I've watched your your videos, he said, I watched the 23 videos that you and Kelly did. I don't even know what the heck he's talking about. But it's something out there in the the universe. And he said everything you're saying makes so much sense to me. And like I'm thinking that's how everybody should be good. Very few people are. I don't know, you know, I just I don't know I just keep on thinking you know, if you it's one thing if they can't figure it out on their own, because I couldn't figure it out on my own until I got the 50. So so no shame there. But come on when it's given to you and it's so simple. You gotta man up and Are women up? And recognize that it's brilliant? You know, not to pat myself on the back, but come on, it's, you know, you know, you got something better. Yeah, you know,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:20:11

I think that people are so skeptical. You know, and unfortunately, they're, you know, they've heard different things, different solutions. They tried stuff not very committed, you know, not like they were super committed to it, it didn't work. So again, back to what we were talking about, it started to create these patterns, you know, and they're skeptical. And this is so simple. You've broken down something that doesn't feel simple to something so simple. And so I think that's part of it, too, where it's like, what do you like, that's all you have to do? It's like, Yes, that's what we're trying to tell you. Let me grab something whack upside the head weapon. Yes.

John Mitchell: 00:20:46

Let me is your opinion here that? You know, I always saw it. When I was looking for that success formula. I'm like, you know, it's got to be profoundly simple. If it's really profound and life changing. It's not going to be overly complicated. It just, you know, I just didn't have 50 years old, I've I sorted intuitively knew that. And then when I figured out what it was, I'm like, Yes, this is so freakin simple. It hurts. And so you know, it's just funny how, as you get older, and you, you look at all this and perspective. And, you know, you and I have traveled this road for how many years? Has it been? It's been like, like, seven, six or seven, seven? Yeah. Well, it's we've got the battle scars to prove it. But but also, you know, it's, it's sort of at the best point has ever been to Yeah. Well, so to wrap this up, you know, again, the the title of this episode is you have to figure out your life. It's all clearly and totally on you. And so how about making now the time to accept that responsibility? And, and then, once you accept that responsibility, the path is simple. You just create immense clarity about your life and you feed it to yourself every day. And after 21 Day sin, the right actions happen automatically without thinking and you're clear about what the right actions are. So you know, easy breezy, right?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:22:25

Easy, breezy. I love it.

John Mitchell: 00:22:27

Okay, until next time, we'll see you.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:22:33

Thanks for listening today. If you've had your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So email us at Kelli at think it'd be att.com or John at think it'd be att.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life