What Are The Life Lessons You Would Give The 20 Yr Old Version of Yourself?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:00:00

Welcome to The Missing Secret Podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield,

John Mitchell: 00:00:03

Hey, and I'm John Mitchell. So I've got a great topic today. And here it is, what would the 20 year old version of yourself like to know from the current version of yourself? So in other words, take yourself today and impart wisdom to that 20 year old version of yourself that would make the journey way easier. What do you think about that idea?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:00:33

Oh, I love that. You know, really just kind of a play on, you know, if I knew, you know, doing what I know now you know, kind of thing. What would I tell my younger self? I love it.

John Mitchell: 00:00:45

I just, I just went through this with my class at the University of Texas, and I did it Thursday, and I got, oh, one of my students to play the 20 year old version of John Mitchell. And so I played the current version of John Mitchell, and explained how I could help him make his life a lot easier. And so I'm thinking we play that again with you playing the 20 year old version of John Mitchell, and the next week we'll flip it, and this will give you a week to think about what you want to say to yourself. And you know, I also say maybe to our audience, think about what you would say to to your 20 year old version of yourself?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:01:24

No, I love that. Yep, get people's minds working on this. Mine will be doing that exactly over the course of the next week. Be thinking about, well, gosh, what would I tell my younger self that would shorten their path to success, or would have made their life easier, or so, yay. I'm excited. I get to play you at 20.

John Mitchell: 00:01:41

Okay, remember, you had to be pretty damn unenlight. Makes me really, really clueless.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:01:50

Okay, perfect. So my opening line is, do,

John Mitchell: 00:01:58

Well

Kelly Hatfield: 00:01:58

I have a script. Do I have a script to work for?

Unknown: 00:02:02

No, no, you have not script. I mean, God, through bid that you'd have a script, you know. So let me set the stage. So this is good to set the stage. So you're 20 years old, you're at the University of Texas, you're majoring in accounting, and you think you're you're hot stuff, because you're making straight out of these. And the University of Texas has one of the top two or three county schools in the country, and so the big CPA furniture are coming around. And so you're like, you know, what do I not know? You know I'm I'm crushing it at school. I guess I'll crush it in the real world when I get out there. And so that's the mindset. And so you're all set now.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:02:56

You got that. That mindset is there. I am over confident, and the world hasn't quite yet kicked me in the teeth.

John Mitchell: 00:03:04

There you go. There you go. So I will now play the current version of me, and let me. Let me share with you about your life. And you know, 20 year old, John, I got some good news and I got some bad news for you. The good news is, your life worked out great. It truly worked out great. But the bad news is, it didn't work out great until you're 50, so it took 30 years for it to turn out great. And the main thing I would like to convey to you is it makes so much sense to work smarter, not harder. Now I know you, 20 year old. John Mitchell, you know, you were raised with seeing your dad being really hard working, and although you never write about success per se, certainly by example, he conveyed to me that success came from hard work, and that is true to a point, but not big success, and you have to work smarter. Does? Does that make sense? Conceptually?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:04:30

Conceptually, it does. But the 20 year old John doesn't understand what working smarter means.

John Mitchell: 00:04:37

Oh, hell no, he is,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:04:42

I'm still going, Duh,

John Mitchell: 00:04:45

Yeah, you know, his head is still spinning around. Your work is, what do you mean by work and sport? Hey, I'm just me Brian.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:04:54

Yeah, exactly

John Mitchell: 00:04:55

Sure. Let me just enlighten you here. I. Yeah, so, you know, and 20 year old John, what you're going to see is your life played out. Is you didn't stick with being a CPA. You know, by the time you were like, 28 you decided you didn't want to account for other people's deals. You want to do your own deals, and you want to be a entrepreneur. So you came up an entrepreneur at 30, and in your 30s and 40s, you were in like seven different businesses, a lot of different things and and, you know, you work harder than all your friends, but you didn't, you didn't have outside success from working hard. And then when you hit 50, something transformed to have happened, and you had to get the wisdom from something outside your own head, because, you know, you're grinding away trying to be successful. You're, you know you you wanted to make enough money so you didn't have to work, but, but you're also wanted to find the woman of your Grange. And so at 50, you know you were, you falling short on both of them and and you knew there was sort of, now or never to really pull your life together at 50. And you know, to your credit, I'll say, you know, you decided to go find the top book the world on success and apply that book, literally, word for word, to your life. And that was a good idea. And that was a that was a key part of this concept of working smarter, because the solution was not in your head, because if it was in your head, you'd already done it. So that's maybe the first key to working smarter, is that you got to find people that are more enlightened than you are, and then you need to listen to them. And so now I know you're also thinking, because I know you pretty well that, okay, I buy the concept of working smarter, but exactly how do you do it? Is that what you're thinking?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:07:10

Yeah, absolutely, yep. I'm like, What does that even mean? Working Smarter? Yeah, right.

John Mitchell: 00:07:14

Well, you know, as you're going to go down this path over the next 2030, years, you're going to hear a lot of strategies for success, and there's 1000 strategies for success, and some of them are confusing, but I'll tell you, and you may want to write this down, 20 year old John, because I don't want you to forget this. Now it comes down to five things, just five things. The first one is you got to be highly organized. I mean, you got to be at least a nine on a scale of one to 10. Where you're you're planning your day the night before. You're time blocking your day, and you're identifying each day what your top three priority so and and doing that effectively, you need a simple system. And so, because you got, you know, if you're going to get a lot done and you're going to be successful, you know, you got to be organized. That's how you get a lot. So that's the first one. Then the second one is, you got to set aside time to just think the deep thing a couple of times a week. And and I know this is a foreign concept to you, but you have got to figure out your life as you go in these twice a week thinking sessions is how you do it. Then the third component is you got to be a COVID Because nobody, including you, is smart enough to be highly successful on their own. And so what you don't know is that the average person that graduates from college doesn't read three more books the rest of their life. And I know that's foreign to you, right? Did you believe that?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:09:07

Yeah, absolutely. I believe that.

John Mitchell: 00:09:10

Yeah. Do you really do at 20

Kelly Hatfield: 00:09:13

I believe it? Probably no. My 20 year old self was probably like, going full of it, because I up until this point, I've read all my entire life, I've been in school, I've been studying, I've been reading books. And so the 20 year old me is probably surprised to hear that statistic, that I'll own them three more books my entire life.

John Mitchell: 00:09:31

Well, given my the 20 year old John Mitchell is not as enlightened as the 20 year old Kelly, but it does it surprise you that most people don't grow?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:09:43

It does surprise me when I'm thinking it from that 20 year old or and even myself. That surprises me?

John Mitchell: 00:09:49

Yeah, well,very I mean, when I share this with my class, they couldn't wait and but it's, it's absolutely true. And so the point. I'm making 20 year old John Mitchell, is you have to be a conduit of learning, and you got to bring the wisdom of experts in in areas that are strategic relative to what you want to accomplish. You can't just grow for the heck of growing. It's got to be strategic to what you want to accomplish. And it's got to be every week get out. So that's totally important concept. Then the fourth concept is you got to focus on what moves the needle, because most people are majoring in minor with things, and they're busy, but they're not focused on what moves the needle. And so you need to really be clear as to what moves the needle, and do some thinking time on that. And then the fifth skill, the master skill, you need to understand how the human mind works. Again, back to working smarter, not harder, until you understand how the human mind works, you're never going to work smarter rather than hard. And here's the key thing I want you to understand, because this is the linchpin, the big Domino. Once you get this, everything changes. So the biggest thing you're going to learn in your life is that 95% of your daily thoughts and actions are unconscious. Let me say that again, 95% of your daily thoughts and actions are unconscious. Just think about that for a second and appreciate this. Your daily actions determine your success in each area of your life. In other words, the cumulative effect of your daily actions determine your success in your career, in your health, in your romantic relationship. And so if 95% of them are unconscious, then if you don't gain control over those unconscious alien actions. Hey, do the math. You're playing the game of life at 5% of your potential. You follow that heavy cons.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:12:12

Yeah, yep, I do. I do. 20 year old John does good. He's hearing you. Yes,

John Mitchell: 00:12:20

I know the words went in his ear and went out the the other ear, but, but just for you, 20 year old Todd Mitchell, just absorb that. Because if you get this, your life is never this the same. There's just the profound ramifications of 95% your daily thoughts and action being unconscious, and hopefully I have connected the dots that you know people are going to tell you all sorts of you know concepts about success, but it's probably simple. It comes down your daily actions is that simple. And so if 95% of them are unconscious, once you get this, then your life is never the same. And you know what the real takeaway from this is, is that your subconscious mind rules your life, and it's either your your greatest asset, or it's your greatest nemesis and challenge that you face. And the reason that that is the case is because most people don't have a way of doing life, and so they just get up every day and they open their eyes and all they go but the problem is they're innately wired for survival, and that causes them to be 75% of their thoughts be fear based, and they're reactive rather than proactive on their important agenda. And so when you just wing life and you let your subconscious mind just go unfeathered through life, then it's going to make you fear based in reactive and that is a lousy way to live, lousy way to live, and that's how the vast majority of people live. So you understand that idea? Yes,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:14:11

I do. I understand that idea.

John Mitchell: 00:14:14

Okay, okay, yeah, I'm keep on thinking about, you know, would I have understood this at 20. I think I I would, and I don't know, I think I would. What do you what do you think is, I

Kelly Hatfield: 00:14:27

don't know. I think it goes back to what we've talked about so often, where I might not have heard this the first time, but through repetition, or through, you know, some examples that related, then it might start sticking. But that first time, you know, I think that, yeah, this just takes a while. So I think for the 20 year old to really wrap their head around this, you know, I would imagine that this would be a challenge, you know. And I know you're experiencing that with the class you're teaching. You know that trying to get 20 year olds to understand this? But, yeah,

John Mitchell: 00:15:00

Keep in mind with my class, you know, I've had them for three months. Yeah, take a year of me talk about this, but it's also changing their life. They make a year of it, but, but, you know? And I told them, when I started it the class, I said, you know, you're gonna, I'm gonna repeat stuff a lot, because it typically takes a person like hearing something seven times before they get it. But, but, you know, I tell you I need to still believe that it has to be like that. You know, if you sit a person down and say, let me just as clearly as I can explain this to you, why do you have to hear this seven times? And why you have to hear it from other people. You know, I'm blessed to be successful. This is how I did it. Come on, let's go. You know, yeah, you know me, I don't have a lot of patience and and I see that people have to hear this at the right time. They gotta, they gotta, yo, it's gotta be the right time. They got to be ready for it. But, but I'm like, come on, people just, you know, just man it up, or whooping it up and get it right. Come on. This is your life. It's life is so precious and and so to, you know, culminate this little exercise. You know that the lesson I would say to the 20 year old John Mitchell is, honey, you know, you got a choice. You can make it harder on yourself, or you can make it easier on yourself. And the big lesson I'm telling you is that if you just do like like everybody else, that's a that's a nightmare scenario, because most people are just winging life. They don't have a way of doing life, and and your way of doing life, if you'll embrace this is, is first of all, understanding how the human mind works. And you'll discover, as you found in the in the top one in the world on success is that the secret is what you envision in detail with emotion on a daily basis, is what shows up in your life. And all that means is you just create immense clarity and intention about your life, and then feed that to yourself every day, and then that takes control of that subconscious mind that is controlling 95% of your daily thoughts and actions, and the rest is issuing the magic happens get out, and you've got a guiding force pulling your life forward to your desired life. And so if you'd have wrapped your head around that concept, that is the essence of working smart,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:17:48

Yeah, I do. I love it. And I think what you know, the thing that I would say, too, and not necessarily to the 20 year old John, but to anybody who's listening today, is that this is available to any of us, that is the beautiful part of the human mind and understanding the human mind works is that every single one of you listening like we all have the capacity to do exactly what John is talking about, you know our so that's what I love about this, is that it's it is for everybody, and I know that's why you get so frustrated too, is that this is available to everybody, but yet, you know, such a small, you know, percentage of people are taking advantage of this knowledge and understanding how the human mind works and then leveraging that in your favor

John Mitchell: 00:18:36

Well. And you know, I see why that's the case. You know, we live in a world of clutter, and we live life pretty shallowly, probably driven by by social media. But you know, to be successful in life, you gotta have the discernment to to see the profound when it slaps you upside the head. Yeah, and you know, I'll, I'll say this. I mean, I am, I am shocked at the success in human achievement field that so little is talk about how the subconscious mind rules your life. And of course, they don't have a way to influence the subconscious mind. You know, that's what we sort of developed, but nevertheless, you know, the topic of the world on success is all about proactively influencing the subconscious mind with intention. Yet you don't see all that that in the success field, except with us, from what I can tell, and and so, and, you know, one thing I'd be curious about with you, I think you've had the same experience I've had, is, you know, when I was like, 55 and I was just totally crushing it, and I was in a great business and, you know, you know, I was excited that. It, you know, as materialistic as it sounds, yeah, I had the big house, and I had found the ging and and life was great. And I see now that that happened because I had immense control over my life, and that control today is the most important thing to me, because it, it also is, is the way that I see it in my identity and understand myself at a deeper level. Wait, what did you think that's true with you?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:20:30

Yeah, I think so. And I think so for me too, you know, because we do live in a world where people are thinking about all of the, you know, monetary stuff. So you're thinking about, Okay, if you were to ask somebody who's 20 years old what they want, they're probably going to be talking about the, you know, so much of what they're seeing on social media, which is the Ferrari, the fancy house, the Rolex, the, you know, all of those things, which is great. I mean, there absolutely is a component to that. You know, when you're visualizing and you're designing your life, I think where so many get it wrong, and this is where the clarity piece comes into this. This technique is for me anyway, so I'll talk through my personal experience with it. For me, it's all about the service part. How do I grow and develop as an individual so I can show up in in the world the way, where I can make the greatest impact. Because I think so much of what happens when you're younger, so when we're talking to that 20 year old, is that I'm my identity is not tied to the fact that I have a beautiful home or that I have like to the to the monster Monica stuff. I'm fine if all of that goes away tomorrow, because I'm very clear in my identity who I am, and it is not those things. And I think that this methodology for me, you know, has really helped me develop as an individual and as a result of developing as an individual and becoming the best version of myself every day, all of the other wonderful things have happened as a result of that. Does that make sense?

John Mitchell: 00:22:06

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Well, you know, it's it's interesting. When I started my class this this semester, yeah, I was explaining to them, we're going to recreate your life with intention, because the person you are today is created haphazardly. You know, there's there's been good things that have happened, there's been bad things that have happened, and it's both of those things have made you what you are, some some good, some bad. But we're going to recreate your life with a blind sheet of paper, and we're going to do it very intentionally where this, this can be all conscious mind, you know, you get to define, here's exactly the person I want to be, all the attributes that I want, here's here's exactly what I want to accomplish as best as I can determine it at the moment. And here's how I'm going to achieve my goals as best I can determine the method only. And so, you know, we did that through the AI algorithm. This is all conscious, fine. And then once we recreated it from that blank sheet of paper, then they start feeding the template to themselves every day, either Reading it or listening to it. Now you're starting influence the doing part of your mind, because the conscious mind was using logic to figure out all the things that you wanted in your lives and who you wanted to be very important, and that's really the hardest part. But the easy part is, once you create it and you put it on the template. Maybe it's easy. She just feed it every day, every day. And you know, after 21 days, right actions start happening automatically. And you also got go down this, this rabbit hole of understanding yourself at a deeper and deeper level. And you you start understanding all aspects of your life deeper. And so not only are you evolving your identity, you've created this immense control that allows you, if making big money is really important and you have the right opportunity, then you can do that. But that's the thing I love about it now I see it probably more from a spiritual standpoint than than anything today. So and I said she do too, yeah,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:24:31

Absolutely in spirit, if we're defining that as the connection you have with yourself, you know, yeah, absolutely, I feel 100% on the same page with you, as far as that goes, like I've never just connected to myself before, you know, and and the confidence that comes with being that connected with yourself, and then as a writer, that just continues to all build on top of each other, and that momentum

John Mitchell: 00:24:54

Well, you know you're going to have a relationship with yourself for the rest of your life. You. And and you better have a way of evolving it, you know? I just, it's interesting. I just went to a meditation retreat this weekend in Austin, just outside Austin, and I'm telling you, there's a lot of people that are screwed up just and great people wonder, wonderful people. Yeah, you know, life at the end of the day is a state of mind and and I, you know, it's interesting how the meditation works. You do it and at night, and there's this amazing music that's played, and each person has their own experience. And then the next morning, we all get together and talk about each other's experience. And, you know, I see how screwed up people are with false beliefs and all those type of things, and their their thinking is just getting gotten them so twisted, when, in fact, you know, my inclination was to tell us it doesn't have to be this hard, but this wasn't my forum, so wasn't really my thing and but I'm like, if your life is not very good, why don't you just recreate it? You know? Why? Why not just recreate it? We got a methodology to recreate your life and create the desired life you you want. All the terrible things that have happened, just forget about they happen. There is true, you know. Let's recreate your life right now, whether you're 20 or 50, and then feed that to yourself every day and watch what happens. So I don't know that's the lesson. I think

Kelly Hatfield: 00:26:42

I love it. No, I love it. 20 year old John loves it, and 50 something year old Kelly loves it.

John Mitchell: 00:26:49

Okay, well, you know, 50 year old Kelly better be thinking about what lessons she's going to impart to the 20 year old version. And I'm looking forward to being the 20 year old version. So tune in next time and experience the 50 year old Kelly haxfield and the 20 year old See you next time.