
I Thought I’d Be Further Along By Now
In this episode of The Missing Secret Podcast, John and Kelly discuss the concept that lots of people feel. I thought I’d be further along by now. Both Kelly and John have experienced this. Kelly experienced it when she was about 35 and finally making the leap to entrepreneurship. She always envisioned that she would be an entrepreneur from a very young age. But at 35 she’d never made the leap. John experienced this when he was both 40 and 50.
One of the things to do to overcome this is you must establish a personal mission statement. Something that really drives your life. And it’s got to be emotional. And it’s got to be something beyond yourself the drives your life. That’s really the starting point for accelerating your success in life. John talks about then discovering a success formula. And giving up hope by the time he turned 50. Ironically, he discovered the success formula in the most logical place at 50. The top book in the world on success. But it wasn’t on the surface. It was buried deep inside Think and Grow Rich. And that’s the essence of this podcast.
The reason lots of people feel like they should be further along with their life is because they’re just winging life. They don’t have an actual way of doing life. And the effect is they keep on re-creating the past. During this podcast John and Kelly talk about the power of not only having a success formula, such as our 12 minute a day methodology, but also being self-aware. John and Kelly talk about their journey of becoming more enlightened.
Buy John’s book, THE MISSING SECRET of the Legendary Book Think and Grow Rich : And a 12-minute-a-day technique to apply it here.
About the Hosts:
John Mitchell
John’s story is pretty amazing. After spending 20 years as an entrepreneur, John was 50 years old but wasn’t as successful as he thought he should be. To rectify that, he decided to find the “top book in the world” on SUCCESS and apply that book literally Word for Word to his life. That Book is Think & Grow Rich. The book says there’s a SECRET for success, but the author only gives you half the secret. John figured out the full secret and a 12 minute a day technique to apply it.
When John applied his 12 minute a day technique to his life, he saw his yearly income go to over $5 million a year, after 20 years of $200k – 300k per year. The 25 times increase happened because John LEVERAGED himself by applying science to his life.
His daily technique works because it focuses you ONLY on what moves the needle, triples your discipline, and consistently generates new business ideas every week. This happens because of 3 key aspects of the leveraging process.
John’s technique was profiled on the cover of Time Magazine. He teaches it at the University of Texas’ McCombs School of Business, which is one the TOP 5 business schools in the country. He is also the “mental coach” for the head athletic coaches at the University of Texas as well.
Reach out to John at john@thinkitbeit.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-mitchell-76483654/
Kelly Hatfield
Kelly Hatfield is an entrepreneur at heart. She believes wholeheartedly in the power of the ripple effect and has built several successful companies aimed at helping others make a greater impact in their businesses and lives.
She has been in the recruiting, HR, and leadership development space for over 25 years and loves serving others. Kelly, along with her amazing business partners and teams, has built four successful businesses aimed at matching exceptional talent with top organizations and developing their leadership. Her work coaching and consulting with companies to develop their leadership teams, design recruiting and retention strategies, AND her work as host of Absolute Advantage podcast (where she talks with successful entrepreneurs, executives, and thought leaders across a variety of industries), give her a unique perspective covering the hiring experience and leadership from all angles.
As a Partner in her most recent venture, Think It Be It, Kelly has made the natural transition into the success and human achievement field, helping entrepreneurs break through to the next level in their businesses. Further expanding the impact she’s making in this world. Truly living into the power of the ripple effect.
Reach out to Kelly at kelly@thinkitbeit.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-hatfield-2a2610a/
Learn more about Think It Be It at https://thinkitbeit.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/think-it-be-it-llc
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thinkitbeitcompany
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Transcript
Welcome to The Missing Secret Podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield,
John Mitchell:Hey, and I'm John Mitchell. And so the topic today is, I thought I'd be further along by now. What do you think about that, Kelly? You know, they recover from that?
Kelly Hatfield:Yes, I am so excited to talk about this. I hear this frequently with my team, we're talking about either their career or just their life in general, you know, we're doing touch bases. And right you're this frequently. I thought I would be further along right by now, and I myself, had a moment like that in my 30s, you know. And so I'm excited to dig into this today.
John Mitchell:So you opened the door. Tell us about your moment of coming to realize you thought you would be further along by now.
Kelly Hatfield:Well, I think you know, as as you know my story. I had wanted to be an entrepreneur since I was in high school and the DECA program and so, but it was like, and I think that many people who are listening can relate to this, and we talk about this all the time, where you're kind of on autopilot, kind of just do it. I was in a real reactive mode. I'd found myself in a career in recruiting, working for another company. Things were humming along. I loved the work, but I had this little feeling, this little voice in my head, you know, that had been talking to me and scratching at this wound. I don't know how else to describe it. And I remember thinking, you know, and I was probably 35 when I started having conversation with my mentor. And I do remember, like, just even, you know, laying in bed and thinking, I thought I would be further along by now, like I thought I would be making a greater impact. I thought I would own my own business by now. So just this again, it's kind of negative self talk in a lot of ways, where not acknowledging all the great things that I had done to get to that point. But I had not started my first business yet, and I was 35 so I think that was really for me. It was because I had had this vision in my head of what my life was going to look like. I was going to own a business, you know, I was going to have this team, and I got really comfortable and on autopilot, and I blinked my eyes, and I was 35 and was right. Oh, crap, you know, what can you do here now? You know, I better get going. If I'm going to do it, I better do it. And so I think that was my moment where, you know, I remember distinctly thinking, I thought I would be further along by now,
John Mitchell:Right? And so how did, how did that play out in your life? Once you had that, that sort of Epiphany, you were, what, 35 at the time?
Kelly Hatfield:35 at the time, and I think it really was through, you know, one of the things that we talk about, you know, which is through growth, through having a mentor, through working with somebody. So it wasn't, I wouldn't say a coach. I would really say a mentor was somebody that I had a relationship at the corporate office because I was part of a franchise system, right when we would talk, and, you know, he'd always been encouraging, you know, to me and saying, you know, you've got this extra thing, this extra thing about you, this it factor. You're wasting it here. You know, we would kind of have those conversations, and I'd be like, I know I really want to start my own company. Well, we would have a version of this conversation, you know, in every meeting that we had each quarter for a couple of years, right? And that is when we had the conversation where he said, Kelly, if we're are having this conversation, you know, three years from now, how are you going to feel about that, you know, how's that going to make you feel? And I said, very disappointed. And he said, What are you waiting for? Yeah, you better get moving. The clock is ticking, you know. And, and so that was the catalyst for me. It was like that cold glass of water. And, I mean, he said it more even directly than that, where it was like, you know,
John Mitchell:How dare you say that tonight.
Kelly Hatfield:It set me back on my heels, but it was that thing I needed to hear that, you know, again, kind of worked alongside with that inner voice in my head that was like, you are not living up to your potential. You should be further along by now. You should be helping more people. It was this constant recording that I had happening in my in the back of my mind. But like so many people, you just get moving every day is kind of rinse and repeat. You're in this reactive kind of mode. And like I said, literally, it was like, how did I get here at three,
John Mitchell:Right? Like, no, we're 35 looks old when you're 35 but it looks like
Kelly Hatfield:I know. I'm like, exactly now that I'm here in my 50s. I'm like, oh, isn't that cute? Isn't that cute?
John Mitchell:Oh, that is interesting. Yeah, of course, you know that for fabric. Resistance to change is, is one of the the offshoots of being wired for survival that that I have come to appreciate much more in the last couple of years. You know, I always would talk about how it causes you to be fear based and reactive and and sort of, you know, it short changed, how profoundly it makes us resistant to change. And, you know, I, I listen to your story, and you know my story, and you know, but the very end, for our listeners, we all sort of have this same thing, you know, you're, you're sitting there at 35 and and basically you're letting yourself down with your life. You're not living to your potential. Yeah, you know, I tell told a story about when I was 50 and and my mom dying of pancreatic cancer, I'd go to the hospital every night to see her, and then I go in the hospital in the parking lot and cry my eyes out every night. And I realized I was letting my mom down with my average life, and because I hated the average life and, you know, so it's always, you know, there's always something out there that that we feel inside, that we're destined for bigger things. And, you know, the thing that amazes me, and this is sort of a wake up call to to people, although I think anybody that's listening to our our podcast is is probably already doing our methodology. But, you know, the reality is, most people just wing in life, and you're like, Well, you know, wow, I thought I'd be further along by now. I'm like, Yeah, well, you're weighing in life. That's why you're where you're at. You don't have really a way of doing life. You're just getting up and open for the best, you know. Well, that's why you're not further along. And I think that that you got to sort of man up or woman up and had that conversation and go, let's go, you know, let's go right now. And the first place, I know, I looked was, okay, well, I'm just winging life. I need an actual success form. And you know, I of course found that in thinking grow rich and creating the 12 minute day technique I created. But, you know, I think that's the the message for people is, if you feel that way, that that you you're you thought you'd be further along by now, own that you're probably winging life, and that you're right where you're supposed to be based on what you've been doing. And if you want a better life, better up your game, which means you better find a way of doing life like, like our method of feeding the succinct articulation of your life to yourself each day. Does that make sense?
Kelly Hatfield:It makes sense. And there's something else that I want to point out. We kind of touched on this and a pre in a previous episode recently about just radical accountability, you know, and I think too. So whether the whether you're saying to yourself, Oh, I thought I would be further along right now, or I thought I would be in a better relationship, or I thought I would be happier in my mirror, or I thought I would be the amount of of focus or energy you put into something is exactly, you know, that's a reflection of where that relationship is, or where you know how intentional you'll you're being about that particular area of your life, your health. Though I thought I would your I thought I would be healthier. I thought I would be right. So again, back to what you were saying with just winging life, I think too, it's having that radical accountability, saying I exactly where I'm at because of, yeah, either the choices I'm making or the lack of of clarity I have or intention around you know this, not having a system in place, you know, a method for success. I think that you know there is, there's that component of this too, and just understanding that, as you're making choices every day, it's just a matter of, are the choices, you know, what are those choices you're making, and are they in alignment with, you know, the goals you have, your aspirations, and that you've got to do, the deep work, the clarity, all of those things you know, to be able to then turn around and implement this methodology. But I think part of the challenge that so many people have, I know I'll speak for myself, and you got to remember, too, what I'm talking about is, over 15 years ago, the internet wasn't like it is, social media wasn't like it is. So I didn't have all that distraction and everything either, right? Um, I wasn't putting a like I said. I was on autopilot, like everybody is. I was going through the motions. I was taking action. They just weren't necessarily the right action that was going to lead me to where I wanted to go. Does that make sense?
John Mitchell:Yeah. And you know, think about this. Kelly, so you or me or anybody else is where they they are at to the best of their ability based on what they know, right? Yep. Well, if you want to be more successful. Then the solution is not in your head, because if it was already in your head, you'd be more successful. You would have implemented whatever it was. You had to get more enlightened. And I see that, like in my case, you know, I saw that I didn't know how to go to that next level, but I knew that I didn't know how to do it, and so it had to come from an outside party. And that's what launched me into Think and Grow Rich and and, you know, sort of the same thing for you. When I came along in your life, I knew something you didn't know, and and taught it to you. And, you know, boom, it impacts your life, big time. And so that's the lesson I would say to our audience, is if you think you should be further along, you're right where you are, because that's where your level of knowledge is. And you got to go to somebody, whoever you think is playing the game of life at a higher level, and learn what they learned, you know, and do what they're doing. Pretty simple.
Kelly Hatfield:It is simple. And I think there's one little caveat, because I think this is like, if we're just speaking about health, you know, versus further on, like, Man, I thought I would be healthier, I thought I would be thinner, or I thought I would whatever you know, what to do, right? It's very simple. The things that you need to do to adjust your health and get on the right track. That is where this methodology comes in and overriding. So I think there are some areas in life that you know what you need to do, yeah, you know what I mean, and that having this methodology, like we've talked about, to override, you know, and program in those new thoughts, so you could take different actions, you know, are, you know, helping you with just moving out of that intention mode and conscious mode and actually addressing the subconscious piece that is part of what's throwing you off track. You know, right,
Unknown:right? You know, I tell you, and my class at the University of Texas, so we just started the new semester. And you know, it's interesting because I got four months with them, you know, now I'm going to take them on this, this journey. I'll tell you where we are right now and where we're going like tomorrow. So we established that every single one of them has a feeling of not enough. Yeah, not enough. I'm not good enough. And so I poked at that wound pretty hard last Thursday, and I said, Now understand a couple of things. First of all, every one of you feels this way, so you're not alone. And maybe Secondly, I've met every one of you individually, and I'm telling you you are enough. You may not feel it, but, but I know you are, and I'm going to show you how you're going to know you are. And you know now the next step tomorrow is to teach them how to create their own personal mission statement. And I want your help on this. You know you and I learned this from Michael Gervais at the world famous sports psychologist that worked with the Seattle Seahawks, and just for our audience, Kelly and I went and saw him. Oh, I know, five or six years ago, the totally cool experience. And he's, he's an advocate of you ought to have a personal mission statement that's about 120 words long that really drives you. And so from that experience, I put that in our life GPS template. But I'm going to go over this with my students tomorrow. And you know, one of the things you brought up couple of episodes ago is is going three levels deep on the why. And so help me do that. Let's because I think it'll be, it'll be beneficial for our audience, and it'll be beneficial for me as I do this with my students. So why don't you do that with me and show me how to do that.
Kelly Hatfield:So what is it? Is it a goal that you're setting? Or what is Well,
John Mitchell:I think, I think understanding my wife and my life is the foundation to creating that mission statement. So getting at that, you know, am I living my life to make my grounds proud or to honor the life I've been blessed with by God or, you know, but that's where I'm going with it.
Kelly Hatfield:Okay, so what is your mission statement, or your, you know, kind of mission? What's your what do you feel is your purpose or your mission statement?
John Mitchell:Well, the the very stripped down version for the purpose of this exercise is that I've got something that's life changing, and I want to help other people,
Kelly Hatfield:Okay, why do you want to help other people?
John Mitchell:Because life is precious. I see that that my life is precious.
Kelly Hatfield:Okay, when you think about your life being precious and wanting to other, for others to recognize how precious. Their life is. Why is that so important to you?
John Mitchell:Why is that important to me? Well, I guess I just come back to fundamentally, that life is so precious. It's, it's precious to me. It's, it's precious to other people. I have something that's life changing. It's takes 12 minutes a day to do so it's very doable. And I'm like, I gotta get this out. I gotta make people aware of this. Because I personally think that God put me on this earth to do this. I didn't discover it until, I mean, I didn't discover that, that maybe my purpose until I was in my 60s. But I that's what I think now, is it? Is it to honor all that I was blessed with? I need to help other people with this and spread the word of it.
Kelly Hatfield:Okay? So back to why, as far as it being important for people to understand how precious life is like, why is that important to you, and what does that mean to you?
John Mitchell:Well, I think it's important to it's first of all, it's important to me that I appreciate how precious my life is. And I think it's important to me because I feel like my destiny is to help other people and wake them up to the fact that they're just winging life, and that's why they may not be satisfied with their life, just like I was in at 50. And so it's my purpose in life. It's my reason for it's honoring the life, the great life I'm blessed with now.
Kelly Hatfield:And I would keep going with this. But why do you think you were, you know, I would want to ask them, what like, what do you think makes you qualified? Because you you are going to want to get to the more emotional aspect of this sitting on the surface of what your mom is, right, when you think about, you know, the why? Why is important for people to understand how precious life is? Why?
John Mitchell:Well, because if you don't appreciate how precious life is, you won't do the most to make it everything it can be. You'll sort of glide through life like like most people do. You won't have the discipline to do the things maybe you need to do to protect that life and it's life is, you know, when once you once you don't have it, or once you're about to lose it, you get pretty clear about how precious it is. You know, you emotionally appreciate how precious it is. And I guess, you know you're right. We're trying to get at the emotion. And the emotion, for me, purely, is life is precious, and let's play it at at our full potential instead of 5% of our potential.
Kelly Hatfield:Yeah, and I'm just going to go one more here to see if this helps. What are like the the for you? And I'm trying to, I don't want to lead you too far down the road here with this, don't lead the witness. No, we don't lead the witness. But what about because I know, I know what you're like. I know what my answer is here, as far as why is concerned. And I know you, you feel you know a similar way, and I'm trying to get you to
John Mitchell:Well, tell me yours. Maybe that'll be good.
Kelly Hatfield:Well, I think that people really understanding, like, I don't think people look deeply enough at like, literally, why they were put like, Do you know how unique every single person is? Yeah, like our DNA are, and why you were put on this earth. And I think so many people miss the opportunity to really live into how they could have contributed to this world, the impact they could make on this world, because they're not living into their fullest and best self, or into that, like the things that bring all of the good things that they can contribute to the world they never realize, because they're living in this reactive mode. And so for me, like my why, when we're talking about the think it be it method, for example, is that, I think too about the amount of good that goes out into the world as a result of people understanding and learning this, and the contribution and impact that they can make, that they're realizing they can realize their dreams and have a bigger and better life, Because and for me, it's tied to losing, you know, a family member very early, you know, way too young, at 17. I think all of the time, like, part of my why has to do with he didn't get the opportunity to fully live into back, kind of back to that statement, Yeah, boy, when you're at where it's the end, or you don't have your health, you're thinking about this a lot, you know. And I think about Ben, and I think about all of the things that he didn't get to experience as a result of dying so young, right, you know. And so if you can kind of get people off out of autopilot and actually experiencing living life in the present, having more joy. Today, having more fulfilled relationships, that just ripples out. I mean, I think about it on a mic, like, on a micro level where, like, if you're having a really great, you know, interaction with a barista, because you're just a happy person, and putting that good, positive energy and showing up as your best self, what's the likelihood that that barista now you've made their day in some way, shape or form, and they're going to turn around and do the same thing and be nice to the person behind you, or, yeah, it's that ripple effect that moves through the world that is, you know why that's important for people to understand how precious life is, because you're if you don't understand that you are missing out, you know, on the opportunity to make the kind of impact contribution, or just to feel life. I think so many people are anesthetized, yeah, you know, through all of the different things we distract ourselves with. And like I mentioned in my story earlier, about, man, I thought I would be further along. You literally blink an eye. And it was like, how did I just lose five years? Blink, right? How did I just years? Then it was the next five years. So that's what I love about this methodology and why it's so important for me to put this out into the world, right,
John Mitchell:Right? You know, I tell you. So I was, you know, as you know, I just published my book, and when I was writing it. I remember that, you know, when I was 50, I'm like, What am I going to have to work until I'm 70? You know, I'm like, God, you know, I got to get going here in my 50s. I got to make it happen in my 50s. And I also thought, what would it be like if you could just get up every day and you now you were constrained with having to earn a living, and you could do whatever the heck you wanted to do. I had no idea of what I really wanted to do in that regard, but I damn sure wanted to find out. And you know now that I'm actually living that I'm like, Oh, this thing is 1000 times better than I could have ever imagined. And this applies to everybody. You know, life is so much just a state of mind, and when you up your game, in charge to how you do life and take full control of your life through understanding how the human mind works. You know, not only will put more money in your hands so that you can retire, but also you start seeing, it's really not about money, you know, you got to sort of get past, you know, have enough money to pay your basic expenses. You got to, you got to get to that point and not always be working, but with a little discipline and focus, you can get there. Now how big a lifestyle you have really doesn't matter. It's that freedom that is, is the joy. And you know, one thing, I had no idea that would happen. I started playing blues guitar and was in a band Well, you know. And that happened when I was 57 wow, I never saw that one coming. And I never saw me teaching at the University of Texas, you know? I didn't see that one coming, yeah, you know. But that's, I guess. The point I'm trying to make is that in your life, if you're listening to this, the life that awaits you when you get on the other side of having to earn a living. Is going to be amazing, truly amazing. Don't you think,
Kelly Hatfield:Oh, yeah, 100% what's funny? It's, it's just like what you talked about, too, like, I will work well into my 70s, probably because I love what I'm doing. I will want to contribute. I will want to be making an impact and all that, to get to choose, right, what it is you do with that time is a gift.
John Mitchell:Well, you know, I love seeing your journey because, you know, you just, Kelly, just bought this amazing house on the ocean that's got almost a 360 view of the surroundings in the ocean. And, you know, I know, when I first started living on on the lake, what a amazing experience that is to just be around water and and the power of water and the vastness of water. And you know, I see that that how that is impacting you on a daily basis. And do you know, you're just going up and up and higher and higher. And there's going to be a day where you're going to sell your business. You probably already have enough money so you don't have to work, but you know, you're going to go to that next level pretty soon, I think, yeah, and it's so fun to watch.
Kelly Hatfield:Yeah, it has been a fun and it's been fun for to have you along on that, you know, because I think so much of this is indirect connection to the work that we've done together, and then to our relationship as it's continued to evolve, you know, with the business and the methodology and so, yeah,
John Mitchell:Well, I would like to take all the credit, if you don't, you didn't really do that much. It was mostly me, just. The audience, but
Kelly Hatfield:I know we're getting close on time, but there is one thing I wanted to mention really quick on that topic of man, I thought I would be further along by now, and I mentioned this a little earlier with social media, and that not being a part of my kind of existence early on in my 30s, which I'm so grateful for. But there are so many people who are online, on social media, and they're seeing things, and there's that comparison, yeah, thing that's taking place, which is the killer of all joy, you know. And I would ask for you to do a couple of things, you know, if you are on social media, and you make that choice to be on social media, that when you are jealous. Or when you look at somebody's stuff and you go, Man, I wish I had that you can have that be a negative thing for you, and go, boop, boop, I wish I was, you know, further along by now, or whatever. Or you could use that as fuel to be like, You know what? You know that is something I'm excited about, and I'm going to strive for. And, you know, some use that feeling, that you might get that feeling of jealousy or envy or whatever, as a fuel, you know, that's a great tactic. The other thing too, that I want to be careful of, because I see so many young people that I talk to and like that, is a snapshot in a moment in time that is not what that person's life is like all of the time. They have the same problems and challenges and everything that you do, they just captured one particular moment that they decided to share with the world. So let's also make sure we're putting things in perspective when we're looking at things online, you know, because it really is that that comparison game and looking at, you know, and then, man, I thought I would be further along. Often comes from some of what they're seeing in relation to maybe their friends from college or whatever, and you get these snapshots, so be careful about that. But if you are feeling that sense of, oh, then that's an indicator maybe, that you're not exactly where you know you want to be, and to start looking at that more closely and and taking action in alignment with, stop being an observer and start taking action toward moving in that direction. If that's something that you want to do, right?
John Mitchell:I completely agree with that. You know, maybe the final thing to wrap this up is, let's just think about the the journey of being more enlightened. You know, I look back on the totality of my life, and I see that largely, until I was 50, I didn't get substantially more enlightened in my, you know, 30s and 40s, you know. I mean, you know, I hopefully I got a little more in light, but I don't see any major leaps. And then, you know, when I got to be 50, and I was really not satisfied with where I was at, I realized that, again, like I said earlier, how to go to that next level was not in my head, so it had to be coming from the outside. And I learned the full secret of Think and Grow Rich. I apply it my life. It transforms my life. I start, ultimately teaching it to other people. And one of the things that was a total enlightenment that just happened last year was getting tuned into the four distinct personality types we've talked about this for the DISC profile. And I had had my class at the University of Texas take the DISC profile on Thursday, and it was very enlightening to see, because now, you know, they didn't know about this, you know that there's four distinct types, and I was telling them a couple of stories in my life. Now, like with ginger, I'm a D, she's a C, which means she's a perfectionist as a D, I'm sort of that CEO type, get it done, accomplishment type person. And from understanding this now, I'm way more understanding of let her be a C, let her being a perfectionist. That's who she is, you know, that's how she processes information. You know, we're all just a function of our genetics and what has come into our consciousness, and part of that genetics is which of the four personality types we are. And so, you know, that was insightful, but, you know, it's really affected me with think it be it, because, as you and for z5 I had to endure, you'd listen to me go, what the hell do they not get? You know, it's plant 5x by income. You know, Time Magazine did a cover story on the science behind this and and we're applying the central concept of the top book the world on success, and they're over here weighing in life. Come on, man, it's 12 minutes a day. Let's go. You want a better life? You want to take your precious life and make it something go. Stop being lazy. That was my attitude. Now. I'm like, oh. Oh, how unenlightened was i because I'm looking at it from my point of view, you know, now that would have been the appropriate response if the world were all of John Mitchell's exactly grace. It would be great if that was the case, but it's not the guns. And in fact, in my visualization, I articulate that 91% of people are different than me. Being a D, 91% of people are different than me. And, you know, once I sort of got this in my head, you know, where I am today with think it be, it is. Hey, you know, I'll give you all the facts, and this makes perfect sense to me, but that's because I process information the way I process it. You may not process the same information the same way that that I do. And so if that's the case, that's okay, you know, if it works for you, great. Do it. If it doesn't work for you, and you don't see the logic of it, don't do it. And, you know, I've completely turned the corner over the last, I think, six months on this. You know what? You know what I'm saying. It just seems like it's, to me, it's, it's very, I don't know, free to not, you know, have angst about whether people get it or not. Does that make sense?
Kelly Hatfield:No, it makes total sense. You know, it absolutely does. And I think, you know, goes back to so much of what we talk about, what we're talking about, seeking first, to understand, right? When you understand where somebody's coming from or their perspective, it can change the conversation you know. It changes how you feel about the conversation. It can change how you influence that individual, or in the amount of effort you put into influencing is something when you know, like, for example, the disc you know side, or we talked about love languages. We've talked about, if you have, you know, a better picture of what somebody's how somebody operates, then it takes away that frustration, because you understand their perspective and kind of where they're coming from. It's like, oh, they're not pushing against me on purpose, right? You know, there's, this is how they're made, and just like I made, the way that I made, and so I love that was one of the things that really is standing out for you as something that's helped you become more enlightened over the course of the last year. You know, since you've really dug into that, went to that, you know, retreat,
John Mitchell:Right, right, right. Well, I saw that. You know, over the last 10 year, journey of Tibby has had a fair amount of angst, yeah, but the irony is that today is it's all sort of come together, and I released my book, and now I have a inexpensive way for people to embrace the methodology all that frustration makes where I'm at Today all the better, all the more enjoyable. So it's funny how, as you evolve, life gets better and better.
Kelly Hatfield:I you know you when you were talking about 50s or 30s, 40s, 50s, and you know, wasn't really until you were 50, in your 50, where I think part of what happens too is like my ability to be able to connect the dots, like my level of self awareness, and then my ability to be able to connect the dots, like for you, and be able to analyze and say, Okay, this last 10 years was tricky. And here's one of the reasons why, you know, I feel free after like there is just a certain level of wisdom that comes along with the experience you gain in your 20s and 30s and 40s that makes you know when you get to this point in your life, 50 and over, you know, so much more feeling settled because you have experience to pull from, and you're more equipped now to be able to connect all the dots and to say, ah, you know, stand now. Why? You know this moment set me on this course to get to this moment, you know, it is supposed to this was supposed to happen, for this to happen, you know. But it didn't feel that way at the time, at the time, right? I didn't see it now, yeah, more wise and, you know, enlightened, and having that experience, I can understand and connect the dots now. And that's, I think, something that just comes from being more settled at this point in your life,
John Mitchell:Right? Right. Well, and, you know, it's, it's cool when you can see how you were unenlightened, and then you got in more enlightened. And, you know, that's a microcosm of your life. And then, because, then you go, Oh, well, maybe there's more enlightenment ahead. Yeah, absolutely. I see all the time how unenlightened I might be on things, and I how, you know, I'm like, Hey, I think I'll get more enlightened. You know, there's more I don't know. I don't know what I don't know, yeah, but absolutely I gotta find out. So
Kelly Hatfield:I'll tell you what I wish the the world could use that in general. You know, when that light of thinking in general? Right now, I think we all operated from that state. Standpoint, we would be a much more peaceful and and connecting group of people so well.
John Mitchell:And, you know, I think as we wrap this up, you know, everybody Well, half the country is freaking out over Trump being the president, and the other half is tickled pink. And, you know, but the reality is, the people that have a different view than you do, they just process information differently. They took the same set of facts we all had and made a choice for who they wanted to be president. But they the people that have a different view than you do. They just are processing the same information differently. They're not intentionally being unenlightened. There are, you know, anything, they're not lesser than you. They're not greater than you, you know, they just process information differently. And so that's what happened. So, you know, no says being mad at them. You know, that's just how they are. No and things will. I have a innate belief that things work out for the best. So I think good things will happen. Believe it or not,
Kelly Hatfield:I do believe it okay. Okay,
John Mitchell:Until next time. We'll see you.