The Art Of Leadership Of Self

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In this episode we talk about the idea of leadership of self. Something we typically didn’t learn from our parents or in school. We’ve had to muddle through and figure it out on our own.In this episode we talk about leadership of self relative to doing what you say you’re going to do. Having courage when it’s needed.

About the Hosts:

John Mitchell

John’s story is pretty amazing. After spending 20 years as an entrepreneur, John was 50 years old but wasn’t as successful as he thought he should be. To rectify that, he decided to find the “top book in the world” on SUCCESS and apply that book literally Word for Word to his life. That Book is Think & Grow Rich. The book says there’s a SECRET for success, but the author only gives you half the secret. John figured out the full secret and a 12 minute a day technique to apply it.

When John applied his 12 minute a day technique to his life, he saw his yearly income go to over $5 million a year, after 20 years of $200k – 300k per year. The 25 times increase happened because John LEVERAGED himself by applying science to his life.

His daily technique works because it focuses you ONLY on what moves the needle, triples your discipline, and consistently generates new business ideas every week. This happens because of 3 key aspects of the leveraging process.

John’s technique was profiled on the cover of Time Magazine. He teaches it at the University of Texas’ McCombs School of Business, which is one the TOP 5 business schools in the country. He is also the “mental coach” for the head athletic coaches at the University of Texas as well.

Reach out to John at john@thinkitbeit.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-mitchell-76483654/

Kelly Hatfield

Kelly Hatfield is an entrepreneur at heart. She believes wholeheartedly in the power of the ripple effect and has built several successful companies aimed at helping others make a greater impact in their businesses and lives.

She has been in the recruiting, HR, and leadership development space for over 25 years and loves serving others. Kelly, along with her amazing business partners and teams, has built four successful businesses aimed at matching exceptional talent with top organizations and developing their leadership. Her work coaching and consulting with companies to develop their leadership teams, design recruiting and retention strategies, AND her work as host of Absolute Advantage podcast (where she talks with successful entrepreneurs, executives, and thought leaders across a variety of industries), give her a unique perspective covering the hiring experience and leadership from all angles.

As a Partner in her most recent venture, Think It Be It, Kelly has made the natural transition into the success and human achievement field, helping entrepreneurs break through to the next level in their businesses. Further expanding the impact she’s making in this world. Truly living into the power of the ripple effect.

Reach out to Kelly at kelly@thinkitbeit.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-hatfield-2a2610a/

Learn more about Think It Be It at https://thinkitbeit.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/think-it-be-it-llc

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thinkitbeitcompany

 

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Transcript
Kelly Hatfield:

How do driven entrepreneurs like you and me? Who want to play the game of life at our full potential? actually do that? So that we met seven figures a year and experience the overall exceptional life? It's all about leveraging our most valuable asset, our brain. But how do we train our brain to actually rewire our autopilot so that all of the right actions and focus happens automatically without thinking as we create the exceptional life in business health, and our significant other relationships? These are the questions and this is the podcast that answers them. This is where your net seven figures a year freedom begins.

Kelly Hatfield:

Welcome, I'm Kelly Hatfield.

John Mitchell:

Hey. And I'm John Michell. So today, we're going to talk about an interesting idea around the idea of leadership itself. How's that sound? Kelly?

Kelly Hatfield:

Sounds good to me. Let's

John Mitchell:

do it. Okay, okay. Well, you know, this idea really sort of crystallized for me, probably eight years ago, you know, after I had sold my company, and I give, I met the former Chancellor and President that year at the University of Texas, and he says, Hey, you got to teach your methodology here at Texas, and why don't we teach it together. And so eight years ago, we we start teaching this at the University of Texas. And and it's interesting, because again, I co teach it with Bill Cunningham. And of course, you've met Bill, Bill. Bill is a player, he's the lead director for Southwest Airlines. He's chairman of the board of Lincoln Financial, he's on the board of John Hancock, he was the legend at the University of Texas for 15 years as the Chancellor and President. And you know, now he's, he's truly one of my closest friends. But you know, when we first started this teaching, I and I do this every year, I tell him on the first day of class, I say, Now, listen, Bill is the expert at leadership of others. He's, you know, based on his resume, he is the expert in leadership of others. But my specialty is leadership itself. And, and, you know, I tell them, that nobody has ever taught them, how to lead themselves. They didn't learn it from their parents. There, they didn't learn it in school. And and we all just muddle through this leadership of self. Right? You buy all that?

Kelly Hatfield:

Yeah, no, definitely. Real quick to in your mind, you know. So for those that are listening, what is leadership itself? I mean, it seems pretty explanatory, self explanatory, but what does that mean to you? Leadership itself?

John Mitchell:

Yeah, that's, that's a good question. Well, I think it it means, you know, taking the right actions and being a good person, you know, I mean, at its simplest form, I think the way the least way I look at it, is that God gave us each our precious life. And we all sorted to the sorted out more or less the same. And it's up to us to take that precious life and make it whatever, we're going to make it. And some people do a good job with that. And some people don't do a good job of that. But leadership itself, is, is developing yourself, I think, to, to your full potential, but also, so that you do good in the world, and you you help other people, you help yourself, but you're helping other people along the way. How would you just define it?

Kelly Hatfield:

Yeah, I mean, very similarly. I mean, I think that it's about leadership of self is about how you show up in the world, right? You know, and it's, it's having a clear definition for how you show up in the world, and then living into that, you know, and so we're, we're all striving to become the best version of ourselves. And I think that that leadership itself are all of the things that, you know, need to happen to become the best version of yourself. And so, you know, again, a, you know, a very simple explanation, but that's kind of when I'm thinking about leadership of self. That's what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about the things that I need to do to become the best version of me.

John Mitchell:

Right? Well, you know, think about this. I think this is how most people do life is they get up every morning. And they they just, you know, try and do their best. They just they they're not a lot of forethought. There's not a lot of you know, visioning they're just, you know, their eyes open in the morning and Here we go, don't know what's going to happen. But I'm up and I'm going. And, you know, part of what what I teach at University of Texas too is we teach them, have them read How to Win Friends and Influence People, which, which is amazing book, as we all know. And it's so about human nature and, and I often tell my students that most of human nature is bad in that you're innately wired for survival. So you're, like we've said many times before, 90% of your thoughts are fear based, and you're reactive, rather than proactive on your important agenda. But you're also lazy. You know, I mean, we're innately wired to be lazy, and to do the least, and, and to be self focused, as opposed to other people focused in you know, How to Win Friends and Influence People is really about teaching you how to, to go against human nature. And, and to look at things from the other guy's point of view and, and to, and just to take that approach. Now, interestingly, one of the things that is good about human nature is we all have an innate desire to help other people. But that's a good one, that's a real good one. But the bad ones are self focused, lazy, and I don't know, there's probably 10 other ones, but self focused and lazy, are, are right there at the top.

Kelly Hatfield:

So I think you know, and, you know, as you're listening to this, you know, be thinking that, like, that's what we were, that's part of what we're designed to do, your brain is designed for efficiency, which means that it gets into these patterns that repeat themselves. And one of the things that you just said, you said, when when you wake up each day, you're in the immediate thing that popped into my head, because I used to be like this and operate like this, is it you're just going through the motions, right. And I think that leadership itself was about living with intention, right, without being really plugged in, you know, and being clear about how you want to show up in the world and living into that and living, you know, intentionally and to the best version of you. But the problem is, because of the way that we're designed, you know, you you do get on that autopilot, or rinse and repeat where you're getting up each day, you're going through the motions, everybody else's agenda is what ends up happening. So you're really busy. But you don't get anything done, you know, or you check a bunch of stuff off your list, but it's none of the stuff that actually moves the needle in your business or in your life. You know, it's the so again, it's going into your day each day without having a plan. You know, you know, yes, and I think that's the way a lot of people wake up each day.

John Mitchell:

You know, that is a great point. I mean, it's sort of back to the question of what's leadership itself, it now is getting clear to me have a plan, have a vision of what you want to accomplish, how you're, you're going to accomplish it, what are the key behaviors that are going to create that? That in a nutshell is leadership itself? And, and so few people do that, yet? Oddly enough, that's exactly the central concept of the top of the world on success, you know, to have that vision and feed that vision for yourself every day. And that, in turn, affects your daily actions which sin creates life you want. I mean, profoundly simple. But in this world of clutter that we live in, people don't get that, you know,

Kelly Hatfield:

nope, there, there are so many competing interests. And, you know, and again, it's so easy. I say this, you know, when we're but I used to be like that. I couldn't get, you know, it was just like Groundhog's Day, right every day. And the thing that we always talk about, too, is how precious life is. Right. And I look back at that time period in my life and being on like Groundhog's Day. And that is so not what we're meant to do here. And I think, like getting the most out of your experience here and living into your potential is also leadership of self. Right. Right? That, you know, we talked about squeezing as much out of and being present and experiencing as much of life as you can. And that doesn't mean these giant trips that we're talking about going on are necessarily living this lavish life. It's that moment where you show up the way that you need to show up with somebody you love and care about, or being plugged in enough to, you know, again, what is your identity? What, like, how do you want to show up in the world? And I think that leadership of self or are all of those things. And, you know, it's interesting, John, you talked a little bit about, you know, teaching and what I find fascinating is through the work that I've done on Um, you know, so I, some of my first businesses have been related to staffing and recruiting, and I've built these firms, and I've had the honor of working with hundreds of companies and leadership, hundreds of companies and helping them staff and build their teams. And what's fascinating is that the companies who struggle are the companies whose leaders do a poor job of self leadership. It is hard to build trust with other people, employees or anybody in your life, when you're saying one thing, but doing another, right, right now, and I think it makes it harder on all fronts to, to people don't leave companies, they leave leaders, right, you, you know, what, what we see over and over again, are the companies that struggle are the companies whose leaders do a very poor job of self leadership?

John Mitchell:

Well, you know, I think, I think also, when you think about leadership and self, it's, it's, it's having courage, you know, when there's problems in, in anything, it takes courage to take the actions to fix it. So So courage is at the root of, of solving everything. And so that's a leadership of self how to lead yourself to have courage to to address the problem, and then to take the actions and, and another key leadership and self principle is this idea of, of doing what you say you're going to do, which, you know, interesting, as far as we seem, with our work, most people will say they, they, they do that, but when they really look at it closely, they're doing it maybe 50% of the time, and what a what a transformation that creates when you make them realize that and then, in theory, the methodology, it causes them to do what they say they're going to do. I mean, then they're there. First of all, they're much more cautious about what they say they're going to do. But they're also taken three times the number of actions because, you know, that's who they're evolving to. But that's that, to me, that that leadership itself is really foundationally based on that one principle of doing what you say you're gonna do you agree with that?

Kelly Hatfield:

100% agree, you know, I was, I knew, you talked about courage, and I was waiting for it, I was waiting for that, do what you say you're gonna do, because it is foundational, it is the foundation of the self leadership, right. And I think that's where, and I know, we've done an entire other episode on this, I'm not sure what episode number it is, but we've done a whole episode on this. But I think what happens when you don't keep your word, whether you're consciously realizing it or not, it slowly erodes the trust that you have in yourself, if it affects your competence, it starts that negative self talk loop, I can imagine that there are many people who are listening to this because I was one myself, where I would beat myself up off, I said, I was gonna finish that by this, and I didn't do it, you know, and, and again, sometimes I was consciously thinking that and other times, it's an you know, it's running like a tape in the back of your head, and it continues to feed that old story, that you might have a bite off and play into that. So, you know, I think that it really is foundational.

John Mitchell:

You know, maybe maybe the last point on on leadership of self is being self aware. And I'll tell you something that I've noticed, and I don't know why this is I don't, but I noticed with my friends, that my friends have flaws, and they have great attributes. And I, in fact, I affirmed myself each day, I'm going to focus on the great things about my friends, and I'm going to ignore the flaws. But I have seen some of the flaws lately with you know, and I unlike and you know, the effect of it is it makes me go, what flaws do I have? That I need to be self aware of that are playing out this way? What am I forcing my friends to ignore my flaws? And and try and see the you know, the good points in me, but I don't know what do you what do you experience that today?

Kelly Hatfield:

You know, I do and it's funny, it's leading me into this other area here real quick, which is another really important facet of self leadership is self awareness. Yeah, yeah. And it's exactly what you're talking about where you're taking a real look at yourself, look in the mirror, and when trying to set ego aside. And it's like, what are the things who do I need to become what are some of the things I need to let go of what are some of the things that I need to bring into my life to become the version of myself or the type of leader I want to be or whatever the case may be and exactly what you're taught Talking about where you're evaluating, you know, you've, you've have that kind of declaration about your friendship and how you're going to interact with them. But then you immediately look back on yourself. And we're like, what laws do I have? And I think that is such an important part of self leadership is self awareness.

John Mitchell:

But you know, I didn't see this 20 years ago with my friends, I didn't really see. I mean, I could, you know, if you ask me, do my friends have flaws? I could probably tell you, but I didn't. I didn't feel it on a regular basis. And I don't know if it's just because by a friends who are older, I don't know what it is. I mean, you know, I got friends from all different ages, but it seems like the ones that tend to be older, have more flaws that I got to be, you know, let go of you. Right.

Kelly Hatfield:

You know, and, and I, you know, I think that maybe, too, and I don't know whether again, it's kind of at the point of life, where you're at to where people are just like they don't edit like they used to, or filter like they used to, they're like, I am who I am. So take your time, I

John Mitchell:

tell you, my friends have no filter, I absolutely no filter, nor nor do I am. As you know,

Kelly Hatfield:

that's I love it. Oh, I think you know, definitely with friends, though. And that's the, you know, important part when we're talking about self leadership. And we can do an entire other episode on this, and probably will. And that's the importance of surrounding yourself with the right community, the right support system, the right friends and people in your life, because it's really hard to become the best version of yourself when you're surrounded by toxicity or people that pull you down or aren't interested in you, you know, in supporting the direction that you want to go in. And I think having the support system in place and the right people around you is another really important element of self leadership.

John Mitchell:

You know, I think that is the takeaway. I mean, that is exactly the takeaway. You can do life on your own and, and you'll have an average life, but but candidly, I don't think you have well, I don't think much of the average life candidly. But if you do it on the on your own, you're gonna have the average life and it does take just what you're talking about. It takes community learning from others. And that's what I guess gives both of us energy in with our tribe is it's all about once we teach in the methodology, it's all about leadership of self and Liz continually refine that that art of leadership of self and I think to a large degree, that's what this podcast is, is all about. Absolutely.

Kelly Hatfield:

Agreed. You hit the nail on the head.

John Mitchell:

Okay, well, we better we better in what on a high note. Okay, so you want to learn more? Go to thinkitbeit.com