How To Handle Pressure

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In this episode we discuss how to handle pressure. This topic came from John being the mental coach for the 20 head athletic coaches at the University of Texas. The way to handle pressure is to simply focus on what you can control. Additionally, it comes down to simply quieting your mind and thinking. Understanding what is causing the pressure and also realizing that the pressure is coming from anticipation of possible negative events in the future. Which may or may not happen. Oftentimes we are worrying about things that have a very small likelihood of occurring. That’s why one needs to think through the situation, focus on what you can control, and not worry about what you can’t control. It’s also a good idea to not worry about what other people think, which oftentimes adds to pressure.

About the Hosts:

John Mitchell

John’s story is pretty amazing. After spending 20 years as an entrepreneur, John was 50 years old but wasn’t as successful as he thought he should be. To rectify that, he decided to find the “top book in the world” on SUCCESS and apply that book literally Word for Word to his life. That Book is Think & Grow Rich. The book says there’s a SECRET for success, but the author only gives you half the secret. John figured out the full secret and a 12 minute a day technique to apply it.

When John applied his 12 minute a day technique to his life, he saw his yearly income go to over $5 million a year, after 20 years of $200k – 300k per year. The 25 times increase happened because John LEVERAGED himself by applying science to his life.

His daily technique works because it focuses you ONLY on what moves the needle, triples your discipline, and consistently generates new business ideas every week. This happens because of 3 key aspects of the leveraging process.

John’s technique was profiled on the cover of Time Magazine. He teaches it at the University of Texas’ McCombs School of Business, which is one the TOP 5 business schools in the country. He is also the “mental coach” for the head athletic coaches at the University of Texas as well.

Reach out to John at john@thinkitbeit.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-mitchell-76483654/

Kelly Hatfield

Kelly Hatfield is an entrepreneur at heart. She believes wholeheartedly in the power of the ripple effect and has built several successful companies aimed at helping others make a greater impact in their businesses and lives.

She has been in the recruiting, HR, and leadership development space for over 25 years and loves serving others. Kelly, along with her amazing business partners and teams, has built four successful businesses aimed at matching exceptional talent with top organizations and developing their leadership. Her work coaching and consulting with companies to develop their leadership teams, design recruiting and retention strategies, AND her work as host of Absolute Advantage podcast (where she talks with successful entrepreneurs, executives, and thought leaders across a variety of industries), give her a unique perspective covering the hiring experience and leadership from all angles.

As a Partner in her most recent venture, Think It Be It, Kelly has made the natural transition into the success and human achievement field, helping entrepreneurs break through to the next level in their businesses. Further expanding the impact she’s making in this world. Truly living into the power of the ripple effect.

Reach out to Kelly at kelly@thinkitbeit.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-hatfield-2a2610a/

Learn more about Think It Be It at https://thinkitbeit.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/think-it-be-it-llc

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thinkitbeitcompany

 

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Transcript
Kelly Hatfield:

How do driven entrepreneurs like you and me? Who want to play the game of life at our full potential? actually do that? So that we met seven figures a year and experience the overall exceptional life? It's all about leveraging our most valuable asset, our brain. But how do we train our brain to actually rewire our autopilot so that all of the right actions and focus happens automatically without thinking, as we create the exceptional life in business health, and our significant other relationships? These are the questions and this is the podcast that answers them. This is where your net seven figures a year freedom begins. Welcome, I'm Kelly Hatfield. Hey, and I'm John Mitchell. And today, we are going to have a conversation around this topic of how to handle pressure. You know, and part of this, the idea of this topic came from a conversation that we had John is the mindset coach at the University of Texas in their athletics department. And we were having a conversation with the athletic director there, who we do, it's called learning from the experts. So it's a program we do exclusively for the University of Texas, and this topic came up for the coaches, so we thought, oh, this will be a great one to kind of piggyback off of, for this conversation, and really relate it to the life of a business owner or an entrepreneur and really anybody who listening can benefit from some of these tactics. And so, John, you know, what, how do you deal with the, the pressures, you know, of not only being a business owner, and I know, you're in a different place, you know, obviously, as far as business ownership, you've got lots of things going on. But not only that, but like the the societal pressure, like, the stress the things that were that are happening in the world right now. Um, you know, just how do you deal with the pressure of being a business owner and the stress of being a business owner?

John Mitchell:

You know, I it is a great question. And I think that I try and just shatter shut out the noise, because there's always a lot of noise. And when you when you feel pressure over something, when I feel pressure over something, the first thing I do is I do I set aside time to just think, something we teach, but this idea of just what is the situation? And what do I need to know about it? What is my next step, and Allah will often see that I may not see the next 10 steps, all I can see is the next step. And once I take the next next step, the subsequent set of step will appear and, and on and on and on. So I think, you know, just focusing on my own thoughts, shutting out the noise, and, and just focusing on the problem, and what is the next step for me? What about you?

Kelly Hatfield:

You know, that's one of the first places I started, I actually learned that from you, which is, you know, so often when we are feeling overwhelmed, or we're feeling just the pressures, like because there's, again, we have so many conflicting and competing priorities, right, and then you've got all of the things that are going on externally, as well. And so there's a lot of emotion wrapped around all of that. Well, once you start using that exercise, you know, where you're thinking deeply, you know, about a challenge, about a problem about how you're feeling about what's on your mind. And you, once you get it out of your head and onto paper, it starts to take the emotion out of it. You know, it's like, oh, like, so once you actually because you we've got these recording happening in our mind, right, and you know, what you focus on expands. Who knows, but once you get it outside of your head and onto paper, factually, oh, this is actually what's happening, you know, then it's like, oh, okay, well, I can start to think my way out of this challenge and begin to come up with solutions and into an action taking mode, which immediately then gets me into a different frame of mind and out of that pattern, that emotional pattern of being overwhelmed or being, you know, no. So that's, I love that you said that first, because that's the first place that it starts for me. And I think one of the other places and we haven't talked about this very much, but it's the things that we words have power. So if you're constantly verbalizing like I'm so stressed, I'm so overwhelmed. I like that just continues to perpetuate that emotion and that feeling of overwhelm and of, of pressure, you know, so being very conscious of how we speak to ourselves, and then how we verbalize that is so important, and it doesn't mean that you're not stressed. You know, I think that you can flip the script on what stressed means, you know, so I'm really grateful for all of these awesome opportunities right now. You know, is it you know, really, though, it's how you, it's the way you frame it? You know? Does that make sense?

John Mitchell:

Yeah, but you know, here's the other thing, all you can do is your best, I mean, you know, when we're talking about pressure, I also think about, you know, things that, that come up and have come up in the, in the past, and, you know, the end of the day, all you can do is your best. And I think one of the things that drives pressure is worrying about things that are highly unlikely to occur. You know, I mean, that's that sort of, in a programming to be a fear based and reactive. And, and the reality is that in the vast majority of cases, whatever you whatever the thing that's really creating that pressure is that is the feeling that something's going to happen, that's not going to be good. When the reality is, that's probably not going to happen. So why why entertain it? Why let it seep into your consciousness, just head down, figure out the problem, here's what I'm going to do, here's the next thing I'm going to do, and, and do the best you can and let go of it. It's not gonna be the end of the world. I mean, that's my take on it.

Kelly Hatfield:

You know, again, we've talked about this a lot, personally, you know, and I have this built into my method, because I am somebody who is a worrier, you know, and worry lives in the future. It's about what could possibly happen? Well, you know, that isn't happening right now. You know, and what I can control is I can control my thoughts, and I can control my actions. And I'm what I'm doing right now here in this moment to, you know, and so being able, but that's an art as we talk about this, that's so much easier said than done, especially when that's your, your wiring, and if it's a pattern and kind of, you know, a bit I mean, that's part of the kind of the fabric of how I grew up. So it's been ingrained in me. So it's something I've really it's still in my visualization, because it's still something that creeps up on me, you know. So I think, to your point, I think getting back in the moment, you know, and I think the other thing, too, and this is tied to that is spending 80 to 90% of the time on the solution, versus on the problem, you know, think the problem through, but don't give it the energy and keep, you know, beating this problem or this challenge to death get here's the fact this is what the challenge is, here's the you know, here are the facts around that challenge. Now, what are the solutions to this particular challenge, and then get into action mode. And that's where the thinking time comes into play in everything to is to help with that process. But when you're ruminating on the project itself, and not on the solutions to the problems, that's where you can get into trouble and just, you know, it'd be a bad kind of stress and overwhelm.

John Mitchell:

You know, I know this is totally shopping instinct, but we were having this conversation last night we were over. I know, the way

Kelly Hatfield:

disclaimer.

John Mitchell:

The lawyers in here

Kelly Hatfield:

you recognize that it probably is. That's the first

John Mitchell:

you know, my attitude is I don't care you know, sue me. Not don't sue me, but I'm gonna tell you what I think I love it. So I we went over and had dinner with Hannah and Charlie and our grandkids and the inlaws were also their Charlie's parents and we're talking about we're actually talking about our relationships, our you know, their marriage, each of ours marriages, but we're talking about that women tend to be way more concerned about all the details. And men not so much. And you know, I personally think that's the beauty of the ying and the yang of between an intimate couple is that, you know, you sort of need both of them. But by the nature of that women probably have more of a tendency to to worry and, and then I guess feel pressure and I hate that, that ginger sometimes worries about stuff that I'm like change, that there's not a chance in hell that this is going to happen. So why worry about it? And and, I mean, what do you think? What do you think about that? Are women more prone to feel pressure and worry than men? In your opinion?

Kelly Hatfield:

I don't know. I mean, there could absolutely be some truth to that, which is typically kind of being more in that caretaker role. And that maternal, we're making sure everybody's okay. And all of the, all of the different pieces of the puzzle are falling into place as they should, and so I could see where, you know, definitely just through kind of gender roles and things along those lines, where, you know, that absolutely could contribute to that. And I could see that, you know, because I'd say, Jared, you know, he's not really a worrier, you know, he always says, Do you do you do it enough for the two of us, and there's no need for me to do it. He's like, You got it covered?

John Mitchell:

Man, I'm gonna seal that one. That sounds good.

Kelly Hatfield:

But no, I think just, you know, sharing a few of these tactics, and these are things we know, right? You know, these are, these are logical tips and things that we're sharing right now. It's, it's actually doing them, you know, we go back, we kind of tie this back to the methodology in most of our conversations, because that's how I'm able to do it, it's one thing to talk about it and have the intention to sit down and do thinking time and to think, you know, to think through a challenge, or, you know, it's another thing to actually do that, to train yourself to do that through through that reprogramming. And so I think, you know, you might be listening and thinking, Well, yeah, that's easier said than done. Well, that's, I used to think that too, you know what I mean, but you have to reprogram that part of your brain to do some of these things that we're we're talking about. I don't know if you noticed when I switched the, the when I was talking about the words that we use? Yeah. You know, one of the things that is mine, when I'm starting to be too future focused or worry or feel stressed, I immediately trigger to something I'm grateful for what I said, I said, I'm grateful for all of these opportunities that I have, I'm so lucky that I have all of these different opportunities. And that might be what's creating the stress. But as soon as you flip that script, and you change that language, well, that's hard to do, unless you're programming your subconscious to do that.

John Mitchell:

Yeah, that's, that is exactly right. And you know, something else I have noticed lately, is it people seem to fall into one or two categories. They're either oriented to the possibilities, or they're oriented to the negatives, or the reasons that won't work. And, and, you know, I know that I am totally oriented to the possibilities. And I don't like it. When when I'm, you know, when I'm growing this flower, and it's just starting to blossom, and somebody steps on the damn flower before it's even got a chance to, you know, I sure I want to understand the negatives and the what could go wrong, but come on, let's let's let the flower of the idea blossom for a second. Before we go right to what could go wrong? I don't know. Wait, what's your take on that?

Kelly Hatfield:

Here's where it comes back, I think maybe to a difference between how the minds work. So when I'm thinking through something, right, I do think about, okay, so if this doesn't work, or if this like, what's the worst case scenario? Right? You know, what I mean? Or what are the things that could derail this from moving forward? Or I do think about those things because it prepares me for. And it actually relieves stress for me in advance to be like, Okay, so here's what I like, this could be one thing that could go could derail this idea, or this thought, what's the solution for that? Oh, I need to get my team more on board. And this needs to kind of be their idea. So I need to influence them a little bit so that I don't get that pushback from the team. Yeah, so I'll think through it in that regard, so that I am thinking about it from all different angles. And that in turn relieves stress for me, because I bring up with those different scenarios that could happen. So again, it's just how I think the the, the mind works, but I do I will say and this is a little off topic when I'm excited about an idea. You know, and somebody right away starts to, to come up with the all of the reasons why well that won't work. You know, for me, that's like the fuel first of all, you know, in my mind, I'm like I Yeah, I can't see my face right now. But in my mind, you know, I'm like, Oh, yeah. And it's not a stubborn like, I'm not going to do it just because they said I can't, you know, or just because they said it's not a good idea, all that the idea out, but I am somebody who you know. And it's funny Chris just said this, he said he has that contrarian point of view with the coach with an idea. And he'll start saying the things that, you know, the contrary, I did, just to see how convicted they are in their idea or their thought. And so that's pretty interesting. That was really interesting. And so I'm gonna start reframing. Sometimes when I get that pushback as a test of my conviction about the idea, rather than viewing that as something negative coming from somebody externally, but it's a gift to me, to make me think through this a little bit further to see how convicted I am in my, in my idea in whatever it is that we're talking about. Does that make sense?

John Mitchell:

Yeah, you know, it's interesting, I remember Darren Hardy, talking about how people are going to throw water on your ideas and is if you're, if you're an achiever, the people around you will not be nearly as supportive as you think they should be. And, and, you know, it really helped me because, you know, you know, my best friend, Bobby, Bobby is, is always looking for the negatives, these, he says just how he's already I love him. And, and just what you said, is how I play him, I'm like, great, I love that you don't think that idea is going to work because I am going to crush it. And you're being negative about it is so good to be able to throw this back in your face when successful. I love it. Because we not each other for 40 years. So you know, we're always looking to throw something at each other's face. But I

Kelly Hatfield:

love that relationship the two of you have it's so funny. So. So really good point, you know, before we wrap things up, that's one more thing, having a support system, having that, that you know, that person that you know, as far as overcoming stress and pressure, having the right network of people around you that are peers. We talked about this with Chris, too, you know, that are peers that understand your plight, other business owners that get it because other people don't, it's a different being a business owner is a different beast, you know, you feel like you're alone and out on an island a lot of the time. Right? Not, you know, so making sure that you surround yourself with the right support system and network of people to help through those times. Just having a sounding board that knows what you're going through has been where you're at, or is such a relief. You know, as far as handling stress and pressure and stress. I've got you I've got other great people and mentors in my life that I didn't I have the privilege of getting to do that with. Yeah, and I think that's one of the secrets to to handling stress and pressure and being successful is having that those people surrounding you.

John Mitchell:

Right, well, so the takeaway, I think from this, again, it gets back to the topic of how do you handle pressure. And I think the first thing is you, you realize that whatever the feeling, the pressure is, you're you're anticipating negative things happening in the future that oftentimes are very unlikely to happen. That's one thing I think you made a great point about, you know, when you feel something negative or, or pressure to trigger to something you're grateful for. Great point. And, and maybe the third takeaway is just just take the next step, whatever that is, and don't worry if you don't see, you know, the full solution to the problem. So, any anything else you'd like to add to that?

Kelly Hatfield:

Nope. I think just again, focus on solutions, not the problem. Right? Your your, you will see that your stress will begin to dissipate and the pressure will begin to feel a little less oppressive, you know, and you'll be able to move your way out of it. So yeah,

John Mitchell:

yeah. Okay, this is good. Well, we'll see you next time then.