How To Create Happiness – On An Ongoing Basis

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In this episode we discuss how happiness happens clinically in the brain. We explain that the mind thrives on order. And everything that comes in your consciousness is evaluated relative to your goals. Things that support your goals make you happy. Things that go against your goals make you unhappy. Most things are neutral as to your goals. When something comes into your consciousness that is against your goals, it creates disorder. And the only way to restore happiness is to restore order in your mind. We give an example of how to do this. Additionally in this episode we talk about the legendary book “Psycho Cybernetics”. It has a whole chapter on creating happiness. Which comes down to living in the now, not the past or the future. Happiness is a mental habit. People are about as happy as they make their mind up to be. Happiness is just thinking pleasing thoughts most the time and ignoring stuff that irritates you. You can’t let outward events cause you to be unhappy. Having strong self-esteem and self-worth is the key to happiness. If you think about the past, only reflect on the good stuff.

About the Hosts:

John Mitchell

John’s story is pretty amazing. After spending 20 years as an entrepreneur, John was 50 years old but wasn’t as successful as he thought he should be. To rectify that, he decided to find the “top book in the world” on SUCCESS and apply that book literally Word for Word to his life. That Book is Think & Grow Rich. The book says there’s a SECRET for success, but the author only gives you half the secret. John figured out the full secret and a 12 minute a day technique to apply it.

When John applied his 12 minute a day technique to his life, he saw his yearly income go to over $5 million a year, after 20 years of $200k – 300k per year. The 25 times increase happened because John LEVERAGED himself by applying science to his life.

His daily technique works because it focuses you ONLY on what moves the needle, triples your discipline, and consistently generates new business ideas every week. This happens because of 3 key aspects of the leveraging process.

John’s technique was profiled on the cover of Time Magazine. He teaches it at the University of Texas’ McCombs School of Business, which is one the TOP 5 business schools in the country. He is also the “mental coach” for the head athletic coaches at the University of Texas as well.

Reach out to John at john@thinkitbeit.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-mitchell-76483654/

Kelly Hatfield

Kelly Hatfield is an entrepreneur at heart. She believes wholeheartedly in the power of the ripple effect and has built several successful companies aimed at helping others make a greater impact in their businesses and lives.

She has been in the recruiting, HR, and leadership development space for over 25 years and loves serving others. Kelly, along with her amazing business partners and teams, has built four successful businesses aimed at matching exceptional talent with top organizations and developing their leadership. Her work coaching and consulting with companies to develop their leadership teams, design recruiting and retention strategies, AND her work as host of Absolute Advantage podcast (where she talks with successful entrepreneurs, executives, and thought leaders across a variety of industries), give her a unique perspective covering the hiring experience and leadership from all angles.

As a Partner in her most recent venture, Think It Be It, Kelly has made the natural transition into the success and human achievement field, helping entrepreneurs break through to the next level in their businesses. Further expanding the impact she’s making in this world. Truly living into the power of the ripple effect.

Reach out to Kelly at kelly@thinkitbeit.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-hatfield-2a2610a/

Learn more about Think It Be It at https://thinkitbeit.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/think-it-be-it-llc

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thinkitbeitcompany

 

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Transcript
Kelly Hatfield:

How do driven entrepreneurs like you and me? Who want to play the game of life at our full potential? actually do that? So that we met seven figures a year and experience the overall exceptional life? It's all about leveraging our most valuable asset, our brain. But how do we train our brain to actually rewire our autopilot so that all of the right actions and focus happens automatically without thinking as we create the exceptional life in business health, and our significant other relationships? These are the questions and this is the podcast that answers them. This is where your net seven figures a year freedom begins.

Kelly Hatfield:

Welcome. I'm Kelly Hatfield.

John Mitchell:

Hey. And I'm John Michell. So today, we're going to talk about the idea of how to create happiness. Kelly, are you in favor of happiness,

Kelly Hatfield:

I'm all about happiness.

John Mitchell:

Well, you know, there's a process for how to create it, you want to run with that?

Kelly Hatfield:

You know, I think the key thing for me and just kind of something that's foundational is that the mind thrives on order. So you know, right now I want people to envision the difference between, you know, look around your environment, if you're sitting at your desk right now, or, you know, you're in your vehicle, or, you know, those times when your desk is cluttered. You know, it looks like a bomb has gone off in your office, right? You know, and just, you know, how cluttered that makes your mind feel, then the difference between when you clear off your workspace, and you get things organized, and how immediately, you start to feel less anxiety, a little bit lighter, maybe you're thinking more clearly. And that's really how happiness works. You know, I think that, um, so much of the anxiety and, and unhappiness that we create in our lives comes from being disorganized, or being unclear about our path or the direction that we're going. And so, you know, just start again, with that foundational concept of the mind thrives on order.

John Mitchell:

That's, that's great. And, and, you know, here's sort of an extension of that how happiness happens clinically. So the mind does thrive on order. And what that also means is that everything that comes into your consciousness is evaluated relative to your goals, as they it either supports your goals, goes against your goals, or is neutral to your goals, most stuff coming in is neutral to you, your goals, but everything that that comes in, that supports your goals makes you happy, and everything that goes against your goals makes you unhappy, then, you know, I like the example of you know, this, the idea that, that as an example, let's say you, you one of your goals in life is financial security. Okay, well, you go in one Friday, and the boss calls you into his office and goes, well, we're gonna let you go. Well, guess what, you just got input, that is contrary to your goal of financial security. Well, guess what, you're unhappy, okay. And so you go home, you pack your stuff, you go home, and the next morning, you're still unhappy. You know, again, there's disorder in the mind relative to your goal. And so you probably mope around and and stay unhappy. And then the next day, you get up, and you go, Okay, I'm still unhappy. But I'm going to figure out a plan for getting another job. And, um, you sit down at your kitchen table, and you list out the 10 steps to getting a job? Well, suddenly, when you once you sort of stand up and look at your list, you go again, why I don't feel unhappy anymore, you know, because you've, you've put order in over overlaid order over that disorder. And so does that. That makes sense?

Kelly Hatfield:

Absolutely. I can think about so many times in my business, you know, career life where I've been unhappy. And oftentimes, it's because there there's disorder, or I don't have a plan, or I'm unclear. So in the example you just gave, you know, there's uncertainty, I'm not quite sure how I'm going to get from point A to point B, I don't have a job now all of a sudden, and I need one. So I'm putting these action steps in place. And in that process, I'm creating that order. And there have been so many times and I'm sure that if you're listening, you can think of so many times in your life where you've been really stressed and unhappy. And then as soon as you put a plan in place, all sudden it's like the clouds lift and you feel that that anxiety or that unhappiness starts to dissipate, and you begin to get happy again, you know, because you're taking action and you've got a plan. So I love that. And I think about a time John, you know, during the, the pandemic, right at the beginning of it, when there was just so much uncertainty and the rug was kind of pulled out from under and all of the goals, like you'd said, you know, all the goals and vision and forecasting that I'd done felt like that all went away overnight, you know, so it was like, All right, what can I control? You know, I enjoy my thoughts, and I can control my actions. So let me start to put together, you know, kind of this action plan to help relieve some of that anxiety because I got really unhappy overnight.

Unknown:

Right? Yeah, no, kid. Okay.

Kelly Hatfield:

So I love that quote, that's a great example, John.

John Mitchell:

You know, I remember my dating life. You know, I saw I didn't get married until I was in my 50s. So I did a lot of dating. And I remember, you know, if a girl broke up with me, or I broke up with a girl, I was unhappy, but by God, I figured out a plan to get a new girlfriend. And I didn't stay unhappy for long. I was open for business.

Kelly Hatfield:

Oh, my gosh, I love that.

John Mitchell:

You know, it's, I think back, you know, when I was 19 years old, and I was a freshman at the University of Texas, I read this great book, Psycho Cybernetics. I mean, it's just, it's a world famous book. And it's cool. It's, it's all about self image, and the power of having a strong self image. And it was so transformative in my life at that, that age of 19. And so I read the book just for the second time, just recently, although I require my students at the University of Texas in my, in our class to to read it, but I hadn't read it myself since I was probably 19. So I'm reading it. And they have a whole chapter on creating happiness. And I thought, so what I thought I do, I wrote down seven or eight things say they mentioned and and let's, let's see where this goes. I'll throw them out to you make a comment or two. And we'll, we'll see what we get traction on. Okay. You know, the first one it says, you to be happy, you got to live in the now not the past, not the future. But what do you think about that?

Kelly Hatfield:

100%. And that's one of the things that's built into my GPS, and so many of our clients is about being present, right? Because for me, one of my challenges was worrying, worrying lives in the future. Yeah, it steals your time, your energy. And so I 100% When I am present in the moment and experiencing the moment I'm in I am so much happier than when I am, you know, thinking about the future or reflecting on the past.

John Mitchell:

Right. And as we we know, you can train your your mind to do that. So that that's powerful. You know, another thing it says is happiness is a mental habit. Boy, that is that is true. You can have the mental habit of not being happy, or you can have the mental habit of being happy, right?

Kelly Hatfield:

Yep. And you know, it's funny again, this is something you can train. Yeah. In my life GPS. In my visualization, it specifically says one of the things in there is I choose joy. Yeah. And I think happiness is a state of mind. It's a choice. And there are some things that you can do to train yourself to do that.

John Mitchell:

Right. Right. Have you ever heard that Abe Lincoln quote that people are about as happy as they make their mind up to be? I love that. Yeah, yeah. Abe Lincoln. Here's another one. Happiness is just thinking pleasing thoughts most of the time. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, relative to our methodology, you know, most of your thoughts are unconscious. So therefore, you have to wire your your unconscious to be thinking happy thoughts most of the time and if you're, you're not to trigger away from it. Another one is ignore stuff that irritates you. Sure, okay. Okay. Again, around our methodology, your your you, you train your brain so that when you notice it, that you're, you're either focused on the past or you're focused on something that irritates you, you trigger away from it. Here's another one, don't let outward events cause you to be unhappy. Think about that. What do you think about that?

Kelly Hatfield:ming of it, that was the late:John Mitchell:

When I was 19.

Kelly Hatfield:

But no, I, I think that one of the things that we can do, and it said, outside events, is that what it was, you know, and there are some things that you can do to set yourself up. And I know, it's important to be informed. But when you're sitting and you're listening, or watching the news throughout the day, or have the alerts set up on your phone, you know, to have the negative input coming in with everything that's going on in the world right now. You're basically I mean, you're, you're on an upward, you know, what's the word that I'm looking for? I mean, you're you, the odds are stacked against you that you're gonna have a positive and happy day When you've got all of this negative input coming in.

John Mitchell:

Right? Well, and you know, is, is your core happiness externally generated or internally generated? I think that's the essence of it. And, you know, I think our attitude is, hey, you know, I'm choosing happiness, there's gonna be stuff that doesn't go my way. No problem, you know, I got a plan to deal with, it won't even bother me. And so I think that's, that's a key thing. And here's another one, it says self esteem and self worth is key to happiness. Boy, that is true in it?

Kelly Hatfield:

Absolutely. It is. I think it's hard to to find joy, when you don't love yourself, or when you don't feel worthy of love. And I 100% agree with that one.

John Mitchell:

Right? You know, another one, if you think about the past, only reflect on the good stuff. You know, when I read that, I was taking notes on the book, I thought, Okay, I'm gonna write down all the good, all the major good stuff that's happened to me in my life. And, you know, I listed like, 20 things, and, and then I listed all the sort of the maybe big moments in my life where I was really happy. And, and I thought, you know, this is pretty interesting. I haven't thought about this in a long time. But if I ever think about the past, I'm gonna think about this stuff. Not the not I mean, I don't I use Don't I know that there were were was bad stuff and things that are we're not, we're not the most pleasant, but it's sort of a ancient men memory. I mean, I just, I see that life is a journey. I learned from the things that were unpleasant, but boy, they they have no hold over me. And and I have no, no regrets. What do you think about all that?

Kelly Hatfield:

I think that that's true. When you first said that, having not read the book yet. When you first said that? I thought, well, I don't know, let me process this for a second. Because I think there's value in evaluating things that didn't go the way you wanted them to go. Right? I would I mean, in a brief, you know, snapshot, you know, just a real quick look in your rearview mirror to help inform so that you don't make the same you know, you learned from your your failures, a strong word, but things that don't go, you're right, you know what I mean? So that was my first initial thought when you did that. But when you said that, but when you mentioned that, and an overall, like you just presented it? Absolutely. I think so many people let the bad things in their life define who they be, who they are, formed their stories about who they are. And, you know, so I 100% agree with you. And I think to John, it's a matter of perception, I think you can either look at life is happening for you. And there's a reason why you went through that thing that you went through, you know, or life is happening to you. Right, you know, and I think it's a mindset, you know, and just a different way to frame it and a different way to look at the world.

John Mitchell:

Right, right. And, you know, maybe the last one, it says, our habits fit our self image. Well, that is true, whatever that whatever your image, self image is, your habits really do. fit that and so if your self image is, hey, I'm a happy friendly person, and I'm, I'm friendly and happy most of the time. You know, I I think that's that's powerful.

Kelly Hatfield:

I do I think that so is ultimately what that saying, John, is that like so your habits are a mirror to kind of where your head's at. So for example, if your self image is, gosh, well, I feel lazy, you know, then maybe your habits are going to be aligned with that identity or self image of somebody who's lazy, you know, maybe you're watching too much history, meaning, you know, or playing too many, you know, putting too much time in on social media, or whatever the case is, is that really kind of what it's saying. And then also, on the other side, if if your self image is, you know, I'm an action taker, you know, I'm a thriving business owner, then your habits are going to be aligned with, right with yourself with that self image.

John Mitchell:

Right? Exactly. You know, if you're, if you see yourself as a successful business owner, you're you're creating a habit of I'm focusing on what moves the needle, I've got probably five or six or seven key habits that I'm doing on a weekly basis, because my habits reflect who I see myself as, and, and like, like, you know, our focus is to take entrepreneurs that typically are making two or $300,000 a year and teach them how to net over a million dollars a year. Well, there's there's seven habits that we're we teach people, and and, you know, those habits reflect that mindset that I can I can net a million a year. And, and, you know, just a quick aside on that. I see how, how, on the surface, people often go, oh, I don't know that I can really do that. They may not say that to us, but that's in their, their head. And that's why I'm so excited. You're on the webinar, we sort of address that. And, you know, that's, again, it's it's your expectations, manifest themselves. So,

Kelly Hatfield:

so John, what you were just saying, then, so if, you know, with the client that might be thinking, I don't really know that I can do that. You know, and maybe again, aren't verbalizing it, but that's something that's going on in their head. Is that then part of their self image? That like,

John Mitchell:

Absolutely, okay, I, you know, I, I, you know, they're thinking, I don't have the talent to do it. You know, I know, John and Kelly had this methodology, but I don't know that I had the talent. Well, you know, you and me both had as little of that. In US. And even though we had positive self image is there was that but but, you know, I tell you, as I as as we've evolved on on this, I'm like, you know, if somebody else is making a million dollars a year in your business, why not you? Yep. You know, what, they're not magically more smart than you are, in fact, let's just funnel hack them and see what they're doing from a marketing standpoint. And let's do that. And only do I better? This formula doesn't look that up to me. But But again, you know, you got to have the, the, the mental image that you deserve to make that your hard work, and enough, you're smart enough. And so habits reflect how you what your self image is? Yeah, absolutely. Well, you know, to wrap this up, I think, again, the takeaway is that, you can create happiness. And again, that clinical definition of happiness around this idea that, that everything that comes into your consciousness is evaluated relative to your goals, either to support your goals, go against your goals, or neutral to your goals. And if you're unhappy, you just have to look and see what created the disorder. And then you have to overlay order, and suddenly you're happy. I mean, it's pretty darn simple. It's

Kelly Hatfield:

simple. For sure. I mean, you know, and when you lay it out, and I love this about you, John, one of your really unique talents is that you have this ability to break something down that feels big and, and huge. into something that just seems like Well, yeah, that's, that's super easy. By the time you're done explaining it. I'm like, oh, you know, absolutely. You know, what you just said, and it's that simple.

John Mitchell:working on it since the late: