How Do You Answer “How Are You Doing”?
In this episode John and Kelly talk about how you answer the daily question “how are you doing “. It has a huge impact on how you influence others as well as how you influence yourself. Kelly says that when she is asked that question, her standard response is “EXCELLENT”. For John, he answers “living the dream”. Regarding influencing yourself with your answer, John says it sets the tone for your inner world and how you view your life. John also points out that life is a state of mind. So his reply to this daily question is really important. And it’s way better to have a unique reply other than “FINE” as most people answer. Kelly then explains the powerful impact your answer has on other people. It’s truly an exchange of energy. And when you answer in a nontraditional way with energy, it has a very positive effect on other people. John also points out that what you say out loud has 10 times the impact of what you think. And this is based on a Harvard study.
About the Hosts:
John Mitchell
John’s story is pretty amazing. After spending 20 years as an entrepreneur, John was 50 years old but wasn’t as successful as he thought he should be. To rectify that, he decided to find the “top book in the world” on SUCCESS and apply that book literally Word for Word to his life. That Book is Think & Grow Rich. The book says there’s a SECRET for success, but the author only gives you half the secret. John figured out the full secret and a 12 minute a day technique to apply it.
When John applied his 12 minute a day technique to his life, he saw his yearly income go to over $5 million a year, after 20 years of $200k – 300k per year. The 25 times increase happened because John LEVERAGED himself by applying science to his life.
His daily technique works because it focuses you ONLY on what moves the needle, triples your discipline, and consistently generates new business ideas every week. This happens because of 3 key aspects of the leveraging process.
John’s technique was profiled on the cover of Time Magazine. He teaches it at the University of Texas’ McCombs School of Business, which is one the TOP 5 business schools in the country. He is also the “mental coach” for the head athletic coaches at the University of Texas as well.
Reach out to John at john@thinkitbeit.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-mitchell-76483654/
Kelly Hatfield
Kelly Hatfield is an entrepreneur at heart. She believes wholeheartedly in the power of the ripple effect and has built several successful companies aimed at helping others make a greater impact in their businesses and lives.
She has been in the recruiting, HR, and leadership development space for over 25 years and loves serving others. Kelly, along with her amazing business partners and teams, has built four successful businesses aimed at matching exceptional talent with top organizations and developing their leadership. Her work coaching and consulting with companies to develop their leadership teams, design recruiting and retention strategies, AND her work as host of Absolute Advantage podcast (where she talks with successful entrepreneurs, executives, and thought leaders across a variety of industries), give her a unique perspective covering the hiring experience and leadership from all angles.
As a Partner in her most recent venture, Think It Be It, Kelly has made the natural transition into the success and human achievement field, helping entrepreneurs break through to the next level in their businesses. Further expanding the impact she’s making in this world. Truly living into the power of the ripple effect.
Reach out to Kelly at kelly@thinkitbeit.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-hatfield-2a2610a/
Learn more about Think It Be It at https://thinkitbeit.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/think-it-be-it-llc
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thinkitbeitcompany
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Transcript
We believe life is precious. This is it. We've
Kelly Hatfield:got one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to
Kelly Hatfield:maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our
Kelly Hatfield:full potential.
John Mitchell:Are you living up to your potential? Are you
John Mitchell:frustrated that despite your best intentions, you just can't
John Mitchell:seem to make the changes needed to take things to the next
John Mitchell:level. So you can impact your career relationships and health.
Kelly Hatfield:If this is hitting home, you're in the
Kelly Hatfield:right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional
Kelly Hatfield:life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher
Kelly Hatfield:level. So you're playing at your full potential, rather than at a
Kelly Hatfield:fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that
Kelly Hatfield:once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you
Kelly Hatfield:learn it, watch what happens. Welcome to think at the at the
Kelly Hatfield:podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.
John Mitchell:Hey. And I'm John Michell. So Kelly, here's the
John Mitchell:topic today. How do people respond? When they're asked? How
John Mitchell:are you doing? Now? How when somebody says to you, Kelly, how
John Mitchell:are you doing? How do you respond to that tip,
Kelly Hatfield:I either I either say fantastic. Or I say
Kelly Hatfield:outstanding, or it's something along those lines. i Oh, that's
Kelly Hatfield:always my like, go to response.
John Mitchell:And why do you do it that way? Is there any
John Mitchell:thought to it really,
Kelly Hatfield:there is? Because I think that for a
Kelly Hatfield:couple of different there's a few different thoughts. But this
Kelly Hatfield:really is an exchange of energy. Yeah. And it is aligned with
Kelly Hatfield:when I think about my words, for how I'm going to show up. And
Kelly Hatfield:one of those words is inspiring. You don't inspire people by when
Kelly Hatfield:they ask you how you're doing. You're like fine.
Unknown:Yeah. Yeah. Right.
Kelly Hatfield:You know what I mean? So those two things aren't
Kelly Hatfield:in alignment with one another. So immediately, I'm going to be
Kelly Hatfield:outstanding or fantastic. Because one of my intentions is
Kelly Hatfield:to inspire people. The other thing is for me, like, I need
Kelly Hatfield:that kind of positive energy and to speak that out into the
Kelly Hatfield:world. And so, yeah, that's that's why that's my response.
Kelly Hatfield:It's kind of to twofold.
John Mitchell:Right? Well, you know, I think you hit on what I
John Mitchell:was thinking about that. It, you know, you're influencing the
John Mitchell:other person, but you're also at the same time influencing you.
John Mitchell:And, you know, when I, when I swipe asked me, I'm either, hey,
John Mitchell:I'm living the dream, or I'm, hey, life is good. Or maybe it's
John Mitchell:excellent. But I'm like, just like you that very positive
John Mitchell:thing. And as we probably talked about in the prior episode, you
John Mitchell:know, what you say out loud as 10 times the effect of what you
John Mitchell:think. So when you say I'm excellent. You know, that has
John Mitchell:1010 times the impact of you just thinking that you're
John Mitchell:excellent. You know,
Kelly Hatfield:well, it's really interesting. John, I,
Kelly Hatfield:there is a influencer that I follow in His name is Chad,
Kelly Hatfield:right. And he's a seal. He's a former Navy SEAL. Special teams
Kelly Hatfield:not
John Mitchell:actually a seal. Nope. He's a human.
Kelly Hatfield:He's a human. Okay. And he's on the elite, you
Kelly Hatfield:know, he was in the elite seal. And I can't remember which, you
Kelly Hatfield:know, I'm not sure what they call them, but which group you
Kelly Hatfield:belong to. But he was a Navy Seal and the elite Elite. And
Kelly Hatfield:now that he is retired, he runs the ultra marathons, you know,
Kelly Hatfield:the ones that go on for 100 miles and several days. And
Kelly Hatfield:you've I mean, it's hard core stuff that he and he talked
Kelly Hatfield:about this very topic, and it wasn't necessarily and he, he
Kelly Hatfield:frames it for when people ask you how you respond, and his
Kelly Hatfield:response is always I feel outstanding, but also while he
Kelly Hatfield:is on that run, and on mile 52. He's saying to himself, I feel
Kelly Hatfield:outstanding, I feel out because he knows through his experience
Kelly Hatfield:that you know, when you are in SEAL training, you know, and
Kelly Hatfield:where most of the people wash out, is from mindset, when
Kelly Hatfield:they're saying to themselves, Oh, it's so cold. This is so
Kelly Hatfield:hard. I feel awful. This is like, you know, that self talk,
Kelly Hatfield:whether it's verbalized, or whether it's internally, what's
Kelly Hatfield:going on with your head will determine what your results are.
Kelly Hatfield:So when he's on those runs, and he's like, I feel outstanding,
Kelly Hatfield:even though his shins are bloody and raw, you know, he fell on
Kelly Hatfield:mile 48 in his, you know, road rash all over on the right is a
Kelly Hatfield:saying I feel outstanding. And it's how he finishes the racist.
Kelly Hatfield:He said the minute that your mind you switch your mind to
Kelly Hatfield:say, Oh, this is terrible. This is your you've just lost. Right?
Kelly Hatfield:You know and I've and so I take that and and you know to exactly
Kelly Hatfield:what it is we're talking about. It's the same thing words matter
Kelly Hatfield:what you say to yourself matters what you vocalize matters. And
Kelly Hatfield:it's it's that exchange of energy. So anyway, wanted to
Kelly Hatfield:share that story, because it's that when we brought this topic
Kelly Hatfield:up today, that's the first thing that popped into my head was
Kelly Hatfield:what Chad says,
John Mitchell:right? You know, I a few years ago, many years
John Mitchell:ago, I got to know Jimmie Johnson, the football coach for
John Mitchell:the Cowboys. And he had this great line, he says let the mind
John Mitchell:control the body rather than the body control the mind, which is
John Mitchell:exactly what you're talking about. And the you know, the
John Mitchell:other thing, I think that's interesting about this, how you
John Mitchell:respond to how are you doing? The vast majority 98% of people
John Mitchell:are just reacting with fine. I mean, I bet I mean, literally
John Mitchell:the word fine. Is said 98% of the time, but observe with
John Mitchell:people, and I say this to the audience observe to people that
John Mitchell:you meet how they respond to it, do they really respond to your
John Mitchell:question? Or is are they giving you a reflex? Answer? And, and I
John Mitchell:know, as our audience starts to think about this, and the thing
John Mitchell:I would suggest that they do is figure out a basically no, no
John Mitchell:longer than a three word phrase in terms of, you know how you're
John Mitchell:doing, you know, aka like you do it. You can say excellent, or
John Mitchell:like I do live in the dream, or you know, life is good, you
John Mitchell:know, whatever it is, but be intentional about it. And what
John Mitchell:will happen is first few times you do it, you'll screw it up,
John Mitchell:you'll you'll say I'm fine. And then you go Oh, damn. But it's
John Mitchell:such a it's such a powerful thing. And and really like you
John Mitchell:say you said it really well. This is an exchange of energy.
John Mitchell:And and you're trying to influence not only not only that
John Mitchell:other person with your exchange of energy, energy, but you're
John Mitchell:influencing yourself with your own exchange of energy.
Kelly Hatfield:And percent. Oh, sorry. Good, no good.
John Mitchell:Well, the only other thing I was gonna say is,
John Mitchell:you know, I had a, I did a zoom call with three people that are
John Mitchell:doing, think it be it and it was interesting, because she had one
John Mitchell:of them comes on I go, Well, how are you doing? He goes, Oh, I'm
John Mitchell:doing great. I'm so looking forward to this, you know, all
John Mitchell:feel good. And then another one comes on and, and basically says
John Mitchell:the same thing says, Boy, you know, I I'm having a great day.
John Mitchell:And I've been looking forward to this. And then the third one
John Mitchell:goes fine. You know, just it's so simple. And but with the tone
John Mitchell:that she she gave it, you're like, Whoa, there's a whole lot
John Mitchell:there in that. And that's fine. I just found that that
John Mitchell:interesting. What were you gonna say? I'm gonna go?
Kelly Hatfield:Yeah, I was gonna say two things. So think
Kelly Hatfield:about that, like, so. I'm going to think about it in terms of
Kelly Hatfield:interviewing. You know, so when you're looking at candidates,
Kelly Hatfield:when you're looking to add people to your team, you know,
Kelly Hatfield:those are some of the things that you want to be looking for,
Kelly Hatfield:you know, if they say that, like one of my rules is I only hire
Kelly Hatfield:happy people. Yeah, yeah, I want I want up positive energy.
Kelly Hatfield:Again, it's an exchange of energy, I can train anything.
Kelly Hatfield:But But I can't train positivity and an optimistic outlook and I
Kelly Hatfield:you know, that I can figure it out kind of attitude. And so
Kelly Hatfield:I've looked for how somebody answers that question. And, you
Kelly Hatfield:know, because it all kind of, you know, builds on it. But what
Kelly Hatfield:I was gonna say to you was about, oh, shoot, I lost my
Kelly Hatfield:train of thought. Dang, you know,
John Mitchell:maybe I'll come to you. But guess what you said
John Mitchell:that. That's interesting. I watched Darren Hardy last week,
John Mitchell:and he's talking about going to I think it was a Marriott Hotel.
John Mitchell:And he was going to talk with the CEO the next day and so he
John Mitchell:he is so impressed by the how people are so on being friendly
John Mitchell:and nice and everything. And he goes to the CEO the next day and
John Mitchell:he goes, Man had a you train these people Well to
John Mitchell:consistently be so nice. And he last the CEO last ago, what do
John Mitchell:you mean train him, we hire him to be happy there, we only hire
John Mitchell:happy people, we only hire friendly people. And I think
John Mitchell:you've you, you get that? And you know now that that just as
John Mitchell:an aside, I'm a big believer in hiring people with energy.
John Mitchell:Because I saw in my past, I would sometimes hire people that
John Mitchell:were good at what they did, but they had no energy. And like, I
John Mitchell:suspect that's one of your key. Oh, yeah, Barbara is right.
Kelly Hatfield:And it's all that, to me, it's all goes hand
Kelly Hatfield:in hand. Like you can see somebody's energy when they say
Kelly Hatfield:I'm great, thanks. Yeah, that I'm already starting to sense,
Kelly Hatfield:you know, kind of where their energy is, where their attitude
Kelly Hatfield:is, and where their energy is, you know, because into it's
Kelly Hatfield:what's behind because you can say, I'm great. You know, or you
Kelly Hatfield:can say, I'm great, thanks. You know, right there, you're saying
Kelly Hatfield:the same thing. But you're saying it in a different way.
Kelly Hatfield:And it expresses a different level of energy than the other?
Kelly Hatfield:You know, so you're looking for those little nuances during that
Kelly Hatfield:process, because it's really critical. But I remembered what
Kelly Hatfield:I was going to say, John, I had a question for you. There are
Kelly Hatfield:people who are listening. And I know because I get pushback on
Kelly Hatfield:this is, what if I don't feel fantastic? Or outstanding? Or
Kelly Hatfield:that kind of live in the dream? So I I'm not authentic? And
Kelly Hatfield:don't answer that, you know, like, so what do you say to
Kelly Hatfield:somebody who may be thinking that like, My life isn't great.
Kelly Hatfield:It's not outstanding, I'm not living the dream? How should I
Kelly Hatfield:answer that question? If none of those things apply to me,
John Mitchell:I tell them, it is great, you're alive. Right?
John Mitchell:You're healthy, right? You know, I, you know, I tell you, I've
John Mitchell:been thinking about this a lot lately. You know, life is a
John Mitchell:state of mind. And, and sure, there's going to be, you know,
John Mitchell:days where you're not the top of your game, but that's not going
John Mitchell:to stop me from answering, I'm living the dream, because I'm
John Mitchell:freaking live in the dream every day. And, you know, our audience
John Mitchell:is, is, let's say they choose to say, excellent. Well, they are
John Mitchell:excellent overall. And if if it's not excellent, go fix it.
John Mitchell:You know, go, you know, that doesn't mean that, that you're a
John Mitchell:year from now gonna be living in a, you know, multimillion dollar
John Mitchell:house. But but, you know, figure out intellectually, what you got
John Mitchell:to do to make your life. Excellent. And start on that
John Mitchell:path to making it excellent. And when people ask you how you're
John Mitchell:doing, you go, excellent. Yeah, pretty
Kelly Hatfield:simple. Pretty simple. And I think two other
Kelly Hatfield:things to just add to that really quick, are, we talked
Kelly Hatfield:about perspective, and our last episode, that a lot, yes, with.
Kelly Hatfield:The other piece, is also gratitude. You know, just
Kelly Hatfield:sitting down and thinking about all of the things the fact that
Kelly Hatfield:you've got a roof over your head, the fact that you've got
Kelly Hatfield:food in your refrigerator, the fact that you like, we begin to
Kelly Hatfield:think about like you have all of if you do have all of your your
Kelly Hatfield:senses, the ability to walk, like so, like start thinking
Kelly Hatfield:about all of the things that we take for granted, to be grateful
Kelly Hatfield:for those things, and then things that the next level of
Kelly Hatfield:gratitude, but, and then you'll begin to go Oh, yeah, things are
Kelly Hatfield:pretty excellent, you know, or, um, so there are a couple of
Kelly Hatfield:things where you can shift your your mindset into that mode. But
Kelly Hatfield:I know there are those people who are like, well, if I don't
Kelly Hatfield:feel that way, I'm not going to say that. And I love Your
Kelly Hatfield:responses will like figure out a way to feel that way.
John Mitchell:Yeah, right. Yeah. No, I'm glad you mentioned
John Mitchell:that perspective thing. And, you know, it's interesting, I went,
John Mitchell:I guess it's Saturday, and we I go, and I have margaritas with
John Mitchell:my couple of my old neighbors. And it's interesting. They have
John Mitchell:gotten a divorce they were the first people I met when I came
John Mitchell:to Austin and we were best friends and they lived two doors
John Mitchell:down for like six years and every night it was a happy hour
John Mitchell:you know, we were just and and but they had a horrible marriage
John Mitchell:so that last year they get a divorce and so but I'm still
John Mitchell:friends with both of them. So I go in and have margaritas with
John Mitchell:both of them. And there's this girl that now has become Dylan's
John Mitchell:really good friend and and you know she's very attractive girl
John Mitchell:and of course I'm always trying to get people to find their
John Mitchell:their perfect relationship and if they're in in a relationship
John Mitchell:make it better if they're not in one, go find one. So that's, you
John Mitchell:know, because I see how impactful being married to the
John Mitchell:ginger has been for me, and I want everybody to have that but
John Mitchell:anyways, I'm talking to her. And and I think this is true with a
John Mitchell:lot of people. She's she's talking about how this happened
John Mitchell:in the past and that's not good. Good. And he focused on on how
John Mitchell:she was hurt in a prior relationship. And I'm like, I
John Mitchell:didn't say this, but I'm like, stop it. You know, if if you had
John Mitchell:a bad relationship or something happened in the past, yeah, I
John Mitchell:spent about 20 minutes and think about it and resolve it. But I
John Mitchell:wouldn't spend, you know, two years in therapy, I'd spent
John Mitchell:about 20 minutes in therapy, and, and resolve it to the best
John Mitchell:of your ability, and then let go of it Gee, so you think you're
John Mitchell:gonna change the past?
Kelly Hatfield:One? No, doesn't work that way. I love the
Kelly Hatfield:analogy of the car. And looking at, you know, when you're
Kelly Hatfield:driving your vehicle, if you're just looking in the rearview
Kelly Hatfield:mirror, how much progress do you think you're gonna make, you're
Kelly Hatfield:gonna crash pretty quick, you know, all the action is
Kelly Hatfield:happening out in the wide lens that you've got in the
Kelly Hatfield:windshield that you're looking through forward. But you do need
Kelly Hatfield:to keep checking your back mirror real quick, you know, to
Kelly Hatfield:keep it to take, you know, to learn to grow back kind of
Kelly Hatfield:thing, but moving forward, looking through the windshield
Kelly Hatfield:forward versus always looking in your rearview mirror and
Kelly Hatfield:backwards, you know, right. So, anyway? Well, I
John Mitchell:think I think the summary to this is that life is
John Mitchell:a state of mind and how you answer that question that you're
John Mitchell:probably asked every day, how are you doing? Think about how
John Mitchell:you ideally want to answer that and condition yourself to answer
John Mitchell:it the way you want to. And you know, one other thing, I have
John Mitchell:two quick things. You know, at the intro of our podcast, it
John Mitchell:talks about when we were when we learned that one thing, our
John Mitchell:lives for transformed forever. every once awhile, I like to
John Mitchell:articulate what that one thing is. And what it is, is we
John Mitchell:learned that 95% of our daily actions are unconscious 95% of
John Mitchell:our daily actions are unconscious. And and once we
John Mitchell:learn that, and learn how to influence those 95% unconscious
John Mitchell:daily actions, then our lives were transformed, because we
John Mitchell:started playing the game of life at 100% instead of 10, to 20%.
John Mitchell:And so, so just to put that out there for everybody to every
John Mitchell:once awhile to understand what we're talking about when that
John Mitchell:when that comes on. But the other thing I was gonna say is,
John Mitchell:you know, a couple of episodes ago, I implored our audience to
John Mitchell:reach out and send us an email just just to let us know that
John Mitchell:you're there. And surprisingly, I had, you know, I had a
John Mitchell:response and so And like I told you, our podcast person that
John Mitchell:helps us with this says that we got a lot of people listening
John Mitchell:way more than I thought. And, and but I see that we live in
John Mitchell:such a shallow thinking, existence today because of this
John Mitchell:flip through culture that people just they don't connect they if
John Mitchell:they're maybe listening to podcasts, they don't want to
John Mitchell:connect. And but I you know, I think it's I think it's cool
John Mitchell:even I am God knows we're not trying to sell anybody, anything
John Mitchell:we really aren't. So but I there's there's something to it
John Mitchell:that if you're listening to this, really send Kelly or me an
John Mitchell:email at John at think via.com or Kelly at think via.com And
John Mitchell:just say hi. And because it reinforces what we're doing,
John Mitchell:we'd like to get it and we'll probably ask you what you you do
John Mitchell:and again, not to sell you and not to take you down some
John Mitchell:funnel, you know, just know funnel, we funnel. This is a no
John Mitchell:funnel zone. But I encourage you to do that. So until next time,
John Mitchell:we'll say
Kelly Hatfield:thanks for listening today. If you've had
Kelly Hatfield:your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an
Kelly Hatfield:email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So
Kelly Hatfield:email us at Kelly@thinkitbeit.com or
Kelly Hatfield:John@thinkitbeit.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life